tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-830302817620606452024-02-06T21:24:49.058-08:00Digressive RamblingsWhen I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say, 'B*tch, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today'.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-43024891075105078182016-11-09T18:12:00.004-08:002016-11-09T18:12:44.203-08:00The Knife in my backI am not okay today. I am allowed to not be okay. Please stop trying to silence me and tell me it will be okay. I am allowed to feel like things are horrible and you don't get to take my voice away.<br />
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Why am I not okay? Because yesterday <u><i>my country</i></u> told me that they want a sexual assaulter to represent them.<br />
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By electing this man I re-live that horrible night in 2004 when my voice was taken away. Every time the soon to-be leader of my country speaks I am going to re-live that moment, because when I see that man; I see the man that assaulted me and tried to take my voice away. When I see my country's future leader I have to re-live all the shame, blame and trauma that I fought to pull myself through. I re-live the panic attacks and the breakdowns and the fear. So no, it will not be okay. **I** am not okay today, and it may take a long time for me to be okay.<br />
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I want all my friends to understand my anger and hurt are NOT because my candidate lost. It's because that man won.<br />
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Re-living this though, it has caused a fire to burn within me I didn't know was there. I know now, what I didn't know then, that I have a voice and I have a right to be heard and <b>I will be heard. </b><br />
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To all my friends who have similar battles in your heart today because of this man- I will fight with you. I will stand with you, and I will do my best to protect you. Tell me how I can support you and I will.<br />
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But today, today I mourn. Today I cry. Today I let myself feel the hurt because tomorrow and for the next four years I will fight.<br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-34513828926486571132014-06-12T19:38:00.001-07:002014-06-12T19:45:04.130-07:00That amazing thing I alluded to...So the other week on Facebook I alluded to being a small part in a very wonderful thing. Now that I've taken some time to mull over it I think I can share a bit of my thoughts and feelings.<br />
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Sometimes, I get really down on the world. I think people are just selfish, unfeeling and cold. That no one cares much about anyone outside of their immediate small circle. I feel like I see it daily in the news, on Facebook and all around me. It breaks my heart. The other day I was reminded that I was wrong. Thank goodness.<br />
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To be honest (which if I can't be honest on my blog where the heck can I be) I have been incredibly depressed these last few months we've been in China. I'm lonely, (love ya Chad, but I'm an extrovert) I've been sick almost constantly and I just want to leave. I have been thinking about how the $760 plane change ticket might be worth it. A year is a long time to spend in a random Chinese town. Anyway, right at the depths of the depression someone named Ben posted in the Expats Facebook group for our city that they had a very weird request, but these two guys were in the area and they were looking for two girls to pose as their girlfriends because they were going to visit a friend from Vietnam (named M) who had been trafficked to a place nearby.<br />
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I thought, "how could I not help?" I had to be a part of that. As you know, I am very concerned with women's issues in the world. I think trafficking is one of the saddest things that happens in our world. You can read more of her<a href="http://humanearth.net/blog/" target="_blank"> story here</a> but the short story is that she lived near the Vietnam-China boarder which is where Ben first met her. He got to know her and communicate with her in simple English a couple years ago. He later found out she was taken from her village and eventually "married" a Chinese man. His goal was to meet up with her and help her. However, because her "husband" is jealous he wanted girls to go with him so the husband didn't think Ben was a past lover or anything.<br />
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So I ended up going with Ben and his cameraman Moreno to meet up with M. It was, sadly, a very short meeting, but she was amazing. You know when you meet someone and they just light up your soul? M was that type of person. Even though she's been through so much she was so happy and smiling bright. Her face will forever be burned into my brain when I think of the word hope.<br />
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She has a child with her "husband" here in China and she has decided that even though it may mean leaving her she is ready to go back to Vietnam. It's obvious that it was Ben and Moreno's love that helped her make that difficult decision.<br />
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To just be a witness to these two men and see how much they cared about M. It was indescribable. They did so many things just to make sure she knew people cared and have helped her in so many ways. Their joy in finding her and being able to see her. It was amazing.<br />
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I still can't correctly put into words the feelings of the day, and I don't know if I ever will be able to, but to see the joy on everyone's faces during their reunion- that was amazing. I think people underestimate the power of love. Ben's love for M, and his distaste for the horrid situation we put others in helped make the world a little bit better. It was obvious that Ben's love for M kept her strong and helped support her through all of this.<br />
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It's powerful, the feeling that someone, somewhere cares about you and worries about you and thinks about you. I think it can help someone find strength even in the darkness.<br />
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To even be a small part (the smallest part in the world really) of this story fills me with joy. I look forward to the day when M is back in Vietnam with her family, starting her life over again with that radiant smile on her face.<br />
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Cheers to people in the world that care.<br />
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P.S. my depression has subsided a bit, and I think it's directly related to M and her spirit.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-37873285260201917902014-05-12T02:24:00.000-07:002014-05-12T02:24:01.972-07:00How I do Michelle style empathy<div style="text-align: center;">
I am a very empathetic person. That sounds like a weird brag, "I am great at really feeling bad/sad/mad/happy for people", but I really am. I hate the idea that we can't brag about what we are good at in our society.</div>
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I say this, but I also make fun of Chad when he brags about being super smart... I'm also a hypocrite. But, really when I make fun of Chad I will admit it is because I am 100% jealous. Maybe like 110%. I have never dated a guy I considered smarter than me till Chad. (Sorry any exes out there reading this... but really why are you reading my blog you creep? I don't do friendly breakups so you are straight up trespassing on my life right now.) Alright now that they're gone- back to me...</div>
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So empathy. One of the ways I have learned to increase my empathy is to imagine myself in their shoes. Sounds easy right? Well I am an emotional roller coaster of a human so when I get in other people's shoes I get really upset if people aren't treating them kindly. </div>
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For example, I never really understood trans-gender people (still can admit that it's a hard thing for me to grasp and I always worry about offending.) Anyway, didn't really get it. I mean I've been a tom boy and there are some out there that think I've been an insanely girlie girl (I do not count myself among that thought) but never have I thought- "I should have been born a boy". Unless, of course, I have to pee in the woods, then I wish I was, but just because I am no good at squatting. When that passes and I get free dessert from some waiter I am so glad I'm a girl.</div>
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Anyway, one day I was thinking about the current state of my hair. I made a simple developer error with the hair dye I brought to China and my hair is significantly close to my natural color and significantly farther from my preferred color. Here's the thing, I truly believe I was meant to be a blonde. Most people are surprised to find out I'm not a natural blonde when I confess I am not. Even with horrible roots there is surprise. I was meant to be a blonde. Now, I am barely a blonde. And life doesn't feel right. I don't feel right. And one day I realized this must be a small small small comparison to how trans-gender people feel. They don't feel right in the sex they were born in. I get it, maybe I don't get it as much because hair is seriously more trivial than body, but I understand the feeling that your body doesn't display who you truly are.</div>
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So that's how I build my empathy. </div>
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So now, I feel I can relate to people addicted to drugs. (As with the blonde/trans-gender thing it will be to an n-th degree, but still), I have decided my addictive drug is Twilight movies. </div>
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Here's the reason why. I know they are bad. I know they are no good for me, but I still can't stop. I sometimes get thinking, I would like to view one of the movies. And when I do, it's good for a bit. Then I realize that I am wasting my time and money on trash. I vow I won't do it again. I assume it will stick, then something happens and I think maybe I should watch them again. And I do. And I regret it. I vow to not do it again, then I hit another trigger, and I crave it again. It starts out innocently enough, for instance, this time all I was doing was looking for music videos to play for my Chinese students during break. I always try to find a somewhat popular, current song with a PG video. So I click around on YouTube and start watching music videos, and I come upon a song I love. I click and what is in the video but scenes from Twilight. Sigh. It's around me and I can't escape it. </div>
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I need help.</div>
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Trigger warning: Twilight movie scenes are in this music video.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/rtOvBOTyX00" width="560"></iframe></div>
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-85353315042861060422014-04-20T06:46:00.001-07:002014-04-20T07:01:45.387-07:00Sometimes I care too much....<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes I really think I care too much. It's a burden. Let's be honest we all have a friend on Facebook who we roll our eyes at when they post something about their pet thing. Maybe we get angry they post something AGAIN, maybe we laugh because they're posting something else. Maybe we just roll our eyes and unfollow them. I worry I am that person in all my friend's feed. My pet subject? Feminism. </div>
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I really wish I didn't care so much. I think life would be so much easier. Sometimes I get so jealous of my apathetic friends. The ones who just don't see the injustice or just don't care. </div>
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Sometimes it spews out past the general feminism issues into what (I hate that it is called this) some call "humanist" issues. When I see people being marginalized; I care. When I see people deciding to vilify someone because of their beliefs; I care. When I see someone post almost ANYTHING from Mr. X's blog; oh boy I care. (But really because his entire blog is one big straw man fallacy and people think it's the gospel) (Also I'm not telling you who because I don't want him to get ANY traffic from me.)</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi415LfubM0I5sR8WFpoFe-JYhtNVubeCqZqMhqM8BsC7z2QBDLCfRwoVQ2IZdCAsUE5VdyyV3d8VcCzNc6SA3_jakbj27GMMPRDF4Vf3KJhviiasCO6f4RI4M7rvrGnECLgCOdY3ozF0J4/s1600/4comic2-555.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi415LfubM0I5sR8WFpoFe-JYhtNVubeCqZqMhqM8BsC7z2QBDLCfRwoVQ2IZdCAsUE5VdyyV3d8VcCzNc6SA3_jakbj27GMMPRDF4Vf3KJhviiasCO6f4RI4M7rvrGnECLgCOdY3ozF0J4/s1600/4comic2-555.png" height="271" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I will however encourage you to visit the site this gem came from. <a href="http://qwantz.com/index.php" target="_blank">Dinosaur Comics</a></td></tr>
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After getting so upset (AGAIN) I wonder what it's like to not care. I'm sure Chad would appreciate it since most my yelling gets directed at him. The thing is, it's not that I don't want to care, I do, I just don't want to care so much that hours late I'm still stemming (and end up yelling). So this isn't a plea to help me care less. </div>
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Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by my caring that I force myself to care less. I force myself to give up. To think that it doesn't matter. I won't be able to make one person change. That it's pointless and I should just accept that life will never be fair. But why should I? Why shouldn't I fight the good fight to get us a little closer to the ideal? Why is it such a horrible thing to want people to be kinder, less judgmental, more welcoming and open? That's why I care about women's issues or LGBT issues. (are their more letters now? I feel like the other day I saw like 5 more on the end. That was new for me) </div>
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Heck I even care about the mommy wars stuff. I mean hypothetically I will have children one day. I am CERTAIN people will judge my parenting style, which I assume will be an odd mixture of a Tiger Mom, Hippie Mom and Pinterest Mom. (Are those real mom "types"? Should their be types?) So my kids will end up passing out organic granola at their 5th piano lesson of the week while inviting their friends to their insanely decked out St. Patrick's Day party. It's gonna be an awesome life for _______ McCombs and ___________ McCombs. But your kid might not like it. I don't judge you, don't judge me. </div>
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(Note: I try not to judge)</div>
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So sorry to my 3 readers if all my posts make you react like I mentioned in the first paragraph, about 50 topics ago. </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps" target="_blank">Sometimes I think I took MJ far too seriously.</a></div>
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I think I need to find a job that is great for people who have seriously high levels of empathy. Preferably ones that don't require more school. If you have a genius idea let me know!</div>
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-71282813098350022842013-11-26T01:37:00.000-08:002014-04-20T07:00:51.009-07:00What I am truly thankful for<div style="text-align: center;">
So our branch in church does this thing where there is an RS newsletter. It's so we feel more connected since there are many of us that live in a city by ourselves. I never really wanted to contribute to them, I don't know why, but since I visit teach the woman who is in charge of the newsletter when she asked me to write something I couldn't really say no. She asked me to write on the topic of what I am truly grateful for. While writing it I thought this would be a good thing to post on my blog since I haven't updated it in forever. So here it is! What I am truly grateful for: </div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of the biggest struggles I have is that I suffer from depression; both seasonal and, at times, a mildly crippling case of just general depression. It can get to be very overwhelming for me and leads me to retreat from life sometimes. So one thing I am truly thankful for is the friendships I have made with my family members and with friends I have made all around the world. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The hardest thing about this trial in my life is that it brings out someone who is the exact opposite of my normal self. I am usually a very social and outgoing person. I love being in a crowd and having a full calendar of things to do. When I get depressed it becomes a vicious cycle for me. I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to be around people and I struggle to get excited about anything; which only makes me more depressed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It seems to me that the friends and family I have in my life have always just known the exact moment I need them and have always been there for me: a phone call or email from my brother to encourage me or check in on me, an invitation to go out to dinner from a friend to catch up, or someone just telling me they noticed they haven’t seen me around lately. It is like they can sense when I am struggling and know the perfect thing to help. I know this is not a coincidence. I know that I have had people placed in my life to help me through my trials who are in touch enough with the Spirit to know when they are needed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have also been blessed to have amazing in-laws. From people who know exactly what I am going through because of their own personal struggles to people who just love me unconditionally and support me when I’m down. They also raised an amazing son who just seems to know how to make me smile when I’m sad and how to get me out of a situation when I feel completely overwhelmed or that sometimes a trip to a tropical location in the middle of the winter is just what the doctor ordered. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am truly blessed by the people the Lord has put into my life and the support he gives me through people who love me. I cannot list everyone here who has helped me in one way or another, but I am grateful for all the amazing people I know and can call my friends and family. </span></div>
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-83776185897380476702013-05-28T11:16:00.002-07:002013-05-28T11:16:40.662-07:00The Rules of Dieting<div style="text-align: center;">
Hi my name is Michelle and I have a very unhealthy relationship with food and dieting and the small amount of fat that resides on my mid section.</div>
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There is something empowering and depressing about this all at once. It's empowering because I recognize it and I can sometimes remember it and control my brain, but it's depressing because I'm sure it's something that will only be fixed by therapy and time and I don't want to put in the work. Also, as a MO it's really one of the few vices I get... and really there are worse vices.</div>
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As some of you know I was in the running to be on a infomercial. With it came food delivered to my door (no eating out of the box!) and 6 day a week, butt kicking bootcamp classes. The food was pretty yummy (although left me very hungry) and I really enjoyed the bootcamp after the first week of being so sore I could barely move.</div>
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But then things started going wrong. First, it was HARD to stay on track when people around me were eating such delicious things. Second, my life kinda sucked. Most social gatherings revolve around food so I knew I didn't have the will power to resist so I became a hermit. As most of you know I'm pretty social... so sitting inside all weekend being hungry isn't really something I enjoyed. So the way it broke down was I was at a job I hated so the week depressed me, then I was starving and locked inside my apartment so the weekends depressed me. I basically had nothing to do that would keep me happy.</div>
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Then we had visitors... and I was doing really well... I would steal the occasional thing from Chad's plate but mostly be okay... till we went to Indian food. Let me tell you- there is no diet friendly food at an Indian restaurant. I got the Okra cooked in tomatoes (green veggies are usually okay "cheat" items) but Chad got this Indian food feast and I couldn't resist. So I had bites here and there... but then I felt so guilty about it. So guilty in fact that I headed to the bathroom and attempted to do something I haven't in a long time... make myself throw up. That was the tipping point for me. I went back and after we split with our friends Chad and I talked about it and he asked me a great question, "What's the worst thing that will happen if you get cut?" and I realized that the worst thing would be that it would be a blow to my ego... but since I just spent 5 minutes in a small closet of a bathroom in an Indian restaurant trying to puke I really didn't have much of a ego left to salvage.</div>
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I am being very open here about the remnant of my eating disorder, don't worry this isn't a call for help or me dismissing how serious they are... I know they're serious.. I had one and obviously there are still some triggers. What I would love to hear about is from a girl who didn't have any sort of eating disorder (starving, puking, exercising obsessively, intense dieting) and would like to know how they were raised so I could replicate it... </div>
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So, anyway, in a few days I got cut from the program and you know what I was HAPPY! I didn't have the stress anymore of feeling like I was starving all the time or not eating anything outside of the small amount of food they were sending me and I lost 11 lbs, gained some serious muscle and set up a habit of exercising. </div>
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So all this jibber jabber is finally leading to this, the rules/mantras/beliefs I created for myself.</div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">1. working out is the priority </span></div>
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<i>how many times do we cancel our workout to do something else? I do it too often.. And with stuff like <a href="http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/09/the-scientific-7-minute-workout/?smid=fb-nytimes&WT.z_sma=HL_TS7_20130510" target="_blank">this</a> there is no excuse to not workout</i></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">2. one treat a day </span></div>
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<i>Honestly, this is the hardest thing for me... I have such a sweet tooth, but I decided I mean one processed sugar treat a day... so if I have a treat at lunch then an apple is okay after dinner </i></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">3. fill up on veggies and protein</span></div>
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<i>But eat some carbs- because they're yummy and when I don't I'm grumpy, but FILL up on the good stuff</i> </div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">4. nothing is <b>BAD</b> somethings are just <b>BETTER</b></span></div>
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<i>This is so key for me... I use to eat a cupcake and then berate and hate myself for it because it's "bad" and I "shouldn't". Self hating does not make for a healthy lifestyle</i></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">5. Love your body however it comes-it does amazing things</span></div>
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<i>It really does! I mean my body has climbed me up mountains, swam me around oceans, walked miles and miles and kept on going... </i></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">6. The key is health and strength not torture and hate and unhealthy ideals</span></div>
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<i>This is the most key thing I think. The big question here is "am I doing this because I want to be healthy and respect my body or am I doing this because I want to be skinny and "more attractive in the worst sense</i></div>
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So there it is. The new Michelle mindset and how I'm going to live my life... I'm going to workout, I'm going to focus on eating things that are better for me, but not torturing myself if I eat something that isn't as good for me. I'm going to love myself more.</div>
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<b>So if all that came out of that torturous bootcamp was this then I would say I didn't even fail- I did better than anyone, even myself, expected.</b></div>
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-14077971549664943622013-05-02T09:46:00.002-07:002013-05-02T09:46:57.431-07:00The book installments continue!<div style="text-align: center;">
So as I ride the train and read I start thinking about the stories I would put in my book so I started making a list. So to hold me accountable for writing them at some point I will now give you the list of topics I want to write on... </div>
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Dating in general</div>
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Worst date in HS</div>
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Worst date in college</div>
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Worst date ever </div>
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Best date in HS</div>
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Best date in college</div>
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Best date ever </div>
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Childhood </div>
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First memory </div>
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Worst nightmare</div>
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Best day </div>
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Scariest thing </div>
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The day I found out I was chubby </div>
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High School</div>
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Day I realized I should just embrace me and not worry</div>
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My group of friends</div>
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How to decide what college to attend</div>
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College </div>
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The beautiful butterfly</div>
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learning to love myself </div>
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My roommates </div>
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working in Logan UT </div>
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The internship politicking </div>
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Graduation</div>
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Lost love</div>
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Adult life</div>
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First job</div>
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Law school dreams and destroyed</div>
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Botched Interview</div>
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My first little while at Disney</div>
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Turns out it wasn't forever</div>
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Bouncing back</div>
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Batman and Michelle, together forever </div>
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A full accounting of Chad and mine's relationship as it unfolded</div>
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Moving</div>
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NYC</div>
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Embracing my feminism</div>
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Bread winner</div>
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Newlywed life</div>
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Future</div>
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That should keep me typing for a long while now... and just because I think Batman makes everyone's day better here's a picture of him!</div>
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Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-32995716719232572022013-04-05T15:31:00.001-07:002013-04-05T15:31:08.618-07:00Do you ever look at your life and think how did I get here?This will most likely be a whiny post, so before I begin I want to say I am thankful that I have a steady paycheck that allows me to support the love of my life while he goes to school. I have an adorable dog who makes me smile and really compared to some life is just fine.
That's my issue though... it's just fine. I'm sitting here completely demotivated... I absolutely hate my job... like more than I can express in words, but I think if anyone I worked with at Disney could see me and how I work now they would think someone body swapped me. I am always late, I just can't get out of bed to get here on time. I give the bare minimum; I didn't use to but you get so sick of hearing no and I'll consider it or I'll let someone know and then nothing happens. I'm rarely smiling, I let deadlines slip without caring. WHO AM I????
The number of times my Manager has flat out lied to my face is actually shocking- no pause no nervous look, but a flat out lie. It makes me so uncomfortable that she is so comfortable with it. I just can't respect her on a basic level... we won't even get into the fact that she's been promoted way past her level of competence or that Nespresso just moves people around instead of firing them when they don't do their job well...
It's just been difficult for me because I just wonder why I'm still here, that's the hard thing. I have now turned down 3 jobs because of this one... and I know it was the right thing to do, at least it felt right, but why does the "right thing" make me so incredibly miserable?
I know there is an end in sight. I made Chad promise that I get to quit soon. That we need to do something new and exciting... and odds are we'll be leaving New York to do that anyway... but that seems so far away right now.
I guess it's good to know that I'm pretty certain I'm ready for a career change unless a great project comes along. But what? I have gone through so many different ideas and plans... I just wish I knew where life was trying to push me.... Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-64357790636696275252013-04-01T14:05:00.001-07:002013-04-01T14:08:07.874-07:00Things do not change; we change.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpQWbxJHA2-qmzB4m0FTVSoSqjkbi9WEaP5I6IQV2Q4GilLqrNPJY8WqWhXPt89UM_zz_MGsPJejIxzo7rb9dWKm3RKWezheJ5eDJ7YN7bhjga1ESF55433sUjVwaNg8kbGMRw46eRmY/s1600/postsecret.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpQWbxJHA2-qmzB4m0FTVSoSqjkbi9WEaP5I6IQV2Q4GilLqrNPJY8WqWhXPt89UM_zz_MGsPJejIxzo7rb9dWKm3RKWezheJ5eDJ7YN7bhjga1ESF55433sUjVwaNg8kbGMRw46eRmY/s1600/postsecret.jpg" /></a>In college I use to always make sure I checked <a href="http://www.postsecret.com/"target="_blank">Post Secret</a> everyday. I loved it; the site made me laugh, cry and feel. I related to posts or I felt blessed because I did not relate.<br />
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But then, over time I checked it less and less frequently- I missed it sometimes, the secrets were always interesting to me, but life got busy and usually when I thought of the site it was at all the inopportune times when I couldn't visit the site for a variety of reasons.<br />
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But now that I'm at a job that isn't busy and usually the resources I need to do my job are almost always broken I have a lot of free time to browse the web. This has brought me back to Post Secret and I've found something has changed.<br />
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I don't love it anymore and I don't know why. Is it Post Secret? I don't think so- why would the format change? Why would the secrets change? So I guess that means I have.<br />
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But how have I changed? I don't think I've ever been too angsty as a teen or during my college years.A quick google search tells me angsty people have "the feeling of not being understood by anyone and that the person is alone in the world." That's not me... I thought my life was unique in how all lives are, but not that unique that no one would understand what it's like.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHDMvKtodai5uQ_wYCD1NYpX9ECYDntxJ4qHPGrV_zSyadfjXA_KrP-xwUapzVeeZu12hPFHL9mwlD7c0fBj8xc8xVY7JmI_yr2EN8rKvj8JGjuthKWl7kBqbia3s37DARQNKYWXKvueY/s1600/postsecret2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHDMvKtodai5uQ_wYCD1NYpX9ECYDntxJ4qHPGrV_zSyadfjXA_KrP-xwUapzVeeZu12hPFHL9mwlD7c0fBj8xc8xVY7JmI_yr2EN8rKvj8JGjuthKWl7kBqbia3s37DARQNKYWXKvueY/s1600/postsecret2.jpg" /></a>So as I sit here I wonder, what changed? Why don't I relate... and I realized it's because I'm married.<br />
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It KILLS me to admit that. I hate that I've changed because I've gotten married, but it makes sense. I mean, like a typical mormon girl (see) I was anxious about marriage. It's taught to be such an important part of your life... and it is don't get me wrong, but I wonder if I would be a different girl today if people encouraged me to do more than get myself married, that for some reason I wasn't a complete person because I was single. But, because I was the way I was I was constantly worried about finding someone to love me- that I loved back. It's a hard dance and like everything else I think if you set your mind on it, something you cannot really control*, it eludes you. If you make it your reason for being- it won't happen... you'll just waste your time.<br />
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My little feminist self hates that marriage changed me. Why should it? But it did... and it did because my priorities changed. Marriage forces you to not be so selfish... when you're a college grad with a good job and you're single... you can become very selfish, it's a tough transition. <br />
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Other things that changed for me: how you interact with the opposite sex- that has been weird for me. I've always been friends with guys, and didn't realize it but physically affectionate with guys... now it's weird to hug, touch during a convo, interact with guys<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmcEkamRoTd0gWGD-7jk0KPloJNuPzUsirUz7WXuMc6tnNz1IUISRCOe74_hNjgwKYxQoMYUEwHmnYaBD2WUzswZ11H2JxDtVATqIQeYnbJZ0kO6lsDvxLlTry3tKu7nwxDSG6_UM4vEU/s1600/postsecret3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmcEkamRoTd0gWGD-7jk0KPloJNuPzUsirUz7WXuMc6tnNz1IUISRCOe74_hNjgwKYxQoMYUEwHmnYaBD2WUzswZ11H2JxDtVATqIQeYnbJZ0kO6lsDvxLlTry3tKu7nwxDSG6_UM4vEU/s1600/postsecret3.jpg" /></a><br />
Work: before I got married I didn't mind long hours, late nights and working like crazy. 1. it was something to do and 2. it was something I was good at. Now I'm ready to sprint out of the office at the exact moment I can. I mean why be at work when I can be with the hubs? I have been told this will change and I won't care as much as time goes on, but we're getting close to 2 years and I still get grumpy if I'm at work late/ have to leave him.<br />
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Validation: This one has been hard for me. I use to find a lot of validation in interactions I've had with males. If they hit on me, flirt with me, compliment me. Guess what, that doesn't happen as much when you're married especially since my favorite going out buddy has a matching ring on his finger.<br />
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Socially: I am still social, but now for me if I spend time once a week with friends I'm pretty happy with my social level. Before I wanted s<br />
tuff to do on most nights and an action packed event filled schedule each weekend. As I said before this is suppose to change, but right now there is only one person with whom I want to socialize with daily and I can do that at home.<br />
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I can go on and on, but this is a bit of a thought dump as it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQeYHlPDsbiXPeHKdAINFH1nqgDy8OVVZiQhlQVkX3cUaIxTgN2gNaz_A3ufF_wDzyiJaKd_bRFKLMFTRkF_BExI9vfRXEOwkNs4KTKSRFmldxtqviS47qpIiZ4OZBCZeOJpnvksBQcDk/s1600/postsecret4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQeYHlPDsbiXPeHKdAINFH1nqgDy8OVVZiQhlQVkX3cUaIxTgN2gNaz_A3ufF_wDzyiJaKd_bRFKLMFTRkF_BExI9vfRXEOwkNs4KTKSRFmldxtqviS47qpIiZ4OZBCZeOJpnvksBQcDk/s1600/postsecret4.jpg" /></a>I guess my synopsis is I've changed. It's hard to admit it to myself but my marriage has changed me. I'm still Michelle says dumb things, talks way too much, laughs too loud and too much, spaz Dittman, but tacking a McCombs to the end of that has also made me Michelle I'd rather be at home with the hubby then out and about, find my own validation, doesn't work as hard McCombs.<br />
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*Okay I know some of you think you can control it- but it's not like I went on dates in sweat pants and didn't talk to boys... I tried to always appear put together and I was a flirting monster so really what more could I control... in the end it was the guy's choice <br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-20742195168326810362013-02-21T06:22:00.001-08:002013-02-21T07:59:48.935-08:00Most proudHere's the essay I had to write for a job I was offered but turned down for my current job. It made sense- it was less pay and worse hours (overnight shift and graveyard) but sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I took this one instead... <br />
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Anyway the question (in case you don't pick it up by the intro sentence) was what are you most proud of and why?<br />
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As I have contemplated what I'm most proud of, it was quite difficult to pinpoint one singular thing. I just could not decide. Then finally it dawned on me, I'm most proud of me!<br />
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I have done many things with my life that I'm proud of. I have moved across the country on a whim, based on a promising internship, knowing no one, something I had never done before. I have moved, but it was always with someone else. I always had a safety net to my adventures, but this time I didn't know a soul. During that internship I learned a lot about myself that I'm proud of. I learned how to be independent, that it's okay to go to dinner or the movies by myself. I learned how to be me.<br />
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Another thing I'm proud of about myself is that I graduated college. I was never a bad student, but in college I changed my mind constantly and my family all joked that if anyone in our large family dropped out to pursue another life path or a whirlwind marriage it would be me. Part of this accomplishment that I'm proud of is that I managed to graduate after spending only 3 years on campus and two internships.<br />
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A third thing that makes me proud of myself is that I have forged a very strong relationship with each of my 5 siblings. I am certain that if you asked any of them which sibling they are closest to, they would all say me. In a family full of type A, stubborn, smart, over-achieving people this is quite the feat. I believe family is important and that all great relationships need to be fostered, and that takes work. I try to make my family a priority and show them I value them in my life.<br />
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Another one of my most proud accomplishments was when, right out of college, I landed a job at Disney. It was a very competitive position and I got it! Along those lines, I am also very proud of the fact that in just 3 short years I was able to progress from the role of coordinator to the role of Manager. I was one of the youngest managers in my Business Unit and I had worked hard to prove myself to everyone at the company. Anyone that worked with me knew that I was smart, professional, passionate and was an expert in my field. I cultivated that reputation and I am still regarded as a great resource by many of my old co-workers and executives.<br />
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There are many other small things about myself that I'm proud of, that I'm an awesome party planner, I make a really good sugar cookie, I have friends that live all across the US and the world, I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone, and that I am an incredibly upbeat happy person. So as I said when it really comes down to it, what I'm most proud of is myself.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-21355323530821148922013-02-15T10:59:00.000-08:002013-02-15T11:04:26.164-08:00DodgeballDo not read this unless you have <a href="http://icantmakemylifeup.blogspot.de/2013/02/there-is-no-greater-agony-than-bearing.html">read this</a>.... he's one of my musings that was perhaps meant for an intro...<br />
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Everyone thinks that the worst thing in life is being picked last in gym class, but as a few of us can attest to it's not. The kids picked last- those are your Steve Jobs and Egdar Allen Poes of the world. They failed so significantly at gym (I assume) because they were destined for greatness. They were the first picks of the science and art worlds.They had promise.<br />
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No the worst is being picked about 6th from the last. You're the best of the worst. The two uber jocks the teacher picked to captain the teams finally make their way to the end of the picking and you're still up there looking around and thinking, "seriously you'd rather her? The girl whose asthma prohibits her from moving quicker than a slow walk?" <br />
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See being the best of the worst means you still care. I would stand there in the gym and think "I'm going to save the day in dodgeball today. "<br />
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Then your moment comes, that ball comes flying at you and you're ready to catch it- everyone is watching and you stretch your arms out and BAM the slow pitch dodgeball, that chocolate labs catch with ease nails you in the face. <br />
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That was always my problem- you see I dream of greatness, but I'm 6th from the last. Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-40036184419998655632013-02-15T10:33:00.001-08:002013-02-15T11:04:41.671-08:00There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.I, along with probably everyone else, have always toyed with the idea of writing a book. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5MByfXRa8NLm2qzzXJ_AsUdfagWwfdBMQC965m99CiQ9ozOhFFn5cxgP_rdHmOwp7j-fcGUQQ5Dvyoo6GHK3bMPP6-dzVSKvWSZOXClJnMV_eip2pURGcmWZ1RiVPx2Ruq878fkjDr8/s1600/writing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5MByfXRa8NLm2qzzXJ_AsUdfagWwfdBMQC965m99CiQ9ozOhFFn5cxgP_rdHmOwp7j-fcGUQQ5Dvyoo6GHK3bMPP6-dzVSKvWSZOXClJnMV_eip2pURGcmWZ1RiVPx2Ruq878fkjDr8/s1600/writing.jpg" /></a>So at different points in my life I have written small parts and bits and pieces of what my book would be about. Would it be about my dating shenanigans? Would it just be the story of a random slightly above average person's life? How about all the crazy dreams I've had (BORING)?<br />
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Anyway, I thought maybe I would start sharing my excerpts on my blog because really, I don't have time to sit down and write an entire book, I just write snippets of thoughts while I'm on the subway in the notes app on my phone. <br />
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So enjoy, and if you are an awesome book publisher and want to pay me to quit my job and write a whole book then leave a comment. I get email notifications for comments and I check my email obsessively so you'll hear back from me in no time. Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-13445116317791751022012-11-09T15:42:00.000-08:002012-11-09T15:48:52.893-08:00My thoughts on the female mission age change (a month later)I considered posting something about this subject earlier when it was first announced at general conference but I found <a href="https://askmormongirl.wordpress.com/2012/10/08/im-overjoyed-by-the-big-change-in-mormon-women-serving-missions/">so many other posts</a> that expressed my feelings much more eloquently than I ever could. I thought that would suffice, but as I stand here on the subway trying to swallow the tears that just want to come, while I read President Monson's announcement, I realize I need to share.<br />
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQ9wg3taRcb7MD6bWVTTNgd6zkzBkianOIK_dMiH7isrz2qrkgRA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQ9wg3taRcb7MD6bWVTTNgd6zkzBkianOIK_dMiH7isrz2qrkgRA" /></a></div>
Do I know if this revelation had come a decade before if I would serve? No. I don't know if that would have been my path, but my hear breaks a bit that I never got the chance to decide. At 19 I was full of life and a sincere desire to understand the gospel. It's not that I lack that desire now, but some of my life experiences have ruined my child like faith a bit.<br />
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I keep thinking what if.<br />
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What if I went on a mission at 19?<br />
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I know one of the worst things that ever happened to me would not be part of my past because I never would have been in Florida. On that note though, if I had never been in Florida my whole life would be different. If I hadn't experienced the trial I did in Florida I would not be as sensitive to some people's plights as I am now and I would have a much more shallow testimony of the atonement principle of Christ suffering all pains and afflictions so "he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.(Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 7)"<br />
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In a temporal sense my time in Florida was a blessing as well. It has opened many doors to me career wise that I never thought it would. It has truly blessed me. I would not have any of the jobs I do today without that internship. It opened the door to my job at Disney Online which has in turn opened many doors for me. <br />
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSnmsF0xJRaHnWNOLvQwV_KjPh4_k50WxzsQEcF0oxtQpKZNNxDrg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSnmsF0xJRaHnWNOLvQwV_KjPh4_k50WxzsQEcF0oxtQpKZNNxDrg" width="200" /></a>Anyway, I digress as usual. I don't know if I would have gone, but I do know that I was incredibly touched by this announcement. As most of you know I am a "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third-wave_feminism">3rd wave feminist</a>" and since I was little I struggled a bit with some of the statements and policies the LDS church has made in regards to women and their role. <br />
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I still vividly remember wondering why I couldn't pass the sacrament when I was little, all my brothers (4!) got to! Or the conversation I had with my mom when I was 10 trying to understand why I should stay home and "pop out babies". I asked, "but what if all my husband does is bag groceries and I'm fancy commercial maker ( I was 10) with lots of money? Why does that makes sense? I would be able to support the family better." And then feeling a jealousy I couldn't describe when, my freshman year, my guy friends all were getting to spend 2 years devoted to the gospel and all I could do was be a "member missionary" (Which really isn't easy in Logan, UT) and keep working on my degree. I wanted to go! <br />
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I felt the call to serve, but my temporal age was stopping me. All my life I sought truths and a better understanding of the gospel- often I had a stronger grasp on doctrine and scriptures than many of my male peers, why was I being denied this blessing when I could stand my own feet because of my personal desire to seek?<br />
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Some of these things, (sacrament, priesthood etc.) through personal revelation and wise mentors I have received answers about and I am satisfied with it, my heart is at peace. <br />
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Some I have decided to be faithful and trust without understanding and modify it in a way that doesn't sacrifice my happiness or what I believe is part of God's plan for me which may be different from what we are taught is the ideal.<br />
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And now, the one thing that has always eaten away at me has been changed. I know it's easy to think, well if you really wanted to go on a mission why didn't you go when you were 21? Well, when I was 21 I was a semester away from graduating. I was signed up to do a full summer of EFY as a counselor, and then I needed to get started on figuring out my life past college and I had student loans that needed to be paid. Most importantly, it wasn't the right time anymore, I had changed and it was not my turn. <br />
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One thing that has hung on my soul for so long was expressing my desire to serve to my freshman year bishop and having him tell me he felt strongly that I wasn't going to go, that I will be married. Words like that can haunt a young girl. You feel like a failure when you're 21 and still very single. You then feel that pain again 18 months later when really nothing in your life has changed. You could have gone! You question every decision you've made. You question yourself. Was I not faithful? Did I make a wrong turn? Did I mess it up by not giving that one guy another chance? Did I miss my chance? Will I ever be loved?It weighed on me. <br />
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It's bitter-sweet for me. I am so happy for my younger friends they have a greater chance to go. They will feel more like peers to the young men they know. That more women will get to go and share their spirit with the world.<br />
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I also hope that the horrible stigma I had to endure won't be such a thing anymore. It really is a humbling and horrible experience to live in Utah and be 21 and not married and say you're not going on a mission. People act like there is something wrong with you. Why should I share my personal revelation with a stranger and let them know that a mission is not my path right now? Why do they think that I only have 2 options in my life? It is rough. It is why I rushed to leave Utah behind and why I felt so strongly that I would never move back.<br />
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My hope is that with a change like this the "marriage deadline" won't haunt others like it did me. That there will be fewer girls who question every choice or be made to feel like a failure because they aren't going down one of the two standard paths and will feel empowered, supported and strong enough to know that they can forge their own path. <br />
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Anyway, I'm going to do what one of my heroes, <a href="http://joannabrooks.org/">Joanna Brooks</a> advised, to take heart that even though I struggled, it will be better for the next generation and isn't that what most people want to do? Leave a world behind that is better for the next group? I'm excited for all of you that are going to go now at a younger age, I know you'll do fantastic and I can't wait to see what happens now, because this changes everything!<br />
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Sorry for such a long post and kudos to you all who got to the end. Anyway, maybe I'll wait a month now to write about the election just to keep up with the old news theme....Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-19137645531447091342012-04-04T17:24:00.000-07:002012-04-04T17:24:20.119-07:00I see dead people!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tonight was a first for me! I am about 95% sure I saw a dead body tonight. Here's the story... I was walking to a grocery store today, the one that gives you 10% off on Wednesday nights and I passed a parked car. What was odd about this was that there was a lady in the passenger seat and she looked like she was passed out, but the car door was open. There was a bit of commotion around the car, but I didn't pay it much attention because I was on 125th, and if you have been to NYC you'll know that 125th is quite the commotion of a street. Lots of people, cars, loud noises, people milling around etc. So it didn't really register as anything to me.<br />
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THEN after I passed the car I started thinking about the woman and how remarkably still she was. I was very impressed that she could sleep so soundly with the noise of the street, then I started to wonder if she was okay. I briefly considered calling 911 and having the police check on her, but there were a lot of people walking around the car looking in so I figured they were on top of it.<br />
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So then I went to the store and paid it no mind. As I was leaving the store I saw a bunch of flashing lights and wondered what it was... then as I approached the ambulance and police car I remembered the woman in the front seat. When I got up there the ambulance closed their door and drove off, but not very quickly and the woman in the passenger seat was gone.<br />
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So that's the story... all because I wanted toilet paper and some chips...Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-90583097459192209822012-04-03T11:17:00.000-07:002012-04-03T11:20:02.439-07:00It's Questionaire time again<b style="color: #191919; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">THE RULES:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #191919; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">1. Post these rules</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #191919; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">2. Post 11 random things about yourself</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #191919; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">3. Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #191919; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #191919; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">5. Tag 11 people</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">11 Random Things About Me!</span></h4>
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1.I get really upset if I get all dolled up for something and I don't think enough people have seen me.<br />
2. I actually have pretty bad performance anxiety. RIGHT before I have to give a talk/ make a presentation/ start an interview (as interviewer or interviewee)/ star in a roadshow(once)/ meet with a large group of people I get so insanely nervous and my heart pounds and my ears turn HOT and I am frozen in terror. You would NEVER know it once I get started though. <br />
3. I will never be the sweet perfect mormon housewife. I am slowly coming to terms with that being okay<br />
4. I have no idea who I want to be President right now, but I know who I definitely DON'T want<br />
5. I HATE mushrooms, like HATE. I think they are the grossest things ever. <br />
6. I wish I could eat sweets all day everyday all day long. I crave desserts I don't even know exist.<br />
7. I am ADDICTED to "Draw Something" <br />
8. I have recently discovered the reason I love ATMs, Self checkout etc. is because I spend most my day already interacting with the public and I'm over it by the time errands come<br />
9. I don't think I will ever be a grown up<br />
10. I like the idea of polkadot, but I can never find any polkadot clothing that looks good on me.<br />
11. My job satisfaction is based on how busy I am and how much I like the people I work with</div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;">Questions I was asked:</span></div>
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1) Why do you blog?<span style="color: #674ea7;"> It's twofold really. 1. Sometimes I think the world and my friends actually care what I think and that my random thoughts are amusing. 2. because I need to get it out of my brain so it doesn't fester in there</span></div>
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2) What is one thing that comes easy to you, that doesn't come easy to others? <span style="color: #674ea7;">I think it's the ability to talk to anyone... I have had a rivetting conversation with CEOs of major companies and a young man who grew up on a grass farm</span></div>
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3) What is your biggest regret? <span style="color: #351c75;">I really try to live regret free... but I think it would be the crazy credit card debt I got myself into while in college. I spent SO much money paying that off and nothing I got with the CC was anything of value, just dumb stuff and a lot of eating out</span></div>
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4) What is your one guilty purchase? Something you splurge on and justify splurging on? <span style="color: #38761d;">Food. I make good food, but I love being pampered in a sense. Also, gifts for good friends... if I think it's the most fantastic of presents for someone and just the most perfect gift I give it without thinking about the pricetag.</span></div>
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5) Where would you live, if you could live anywhere? <span style="color: #93c47d;">I would probably live in SoCal or the Outer Banks North Carolina. Perfect weather, beaches, relax people... heaven</span></div>
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6) How do you feel about cats? <span style="color: #990000;">Dislike. I am a dog person. My pet comes when I calls and give me love when I want</span></div>
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7) What is your favorite place in the whole world? Post pictures. <span style="color: #cc0000;">I pretty much loved my family trip to Hawaii... and my honeymoon to the DR... basically if it's warm and sandy and beautiful it's my favorite place.</span><br />
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8) What, in your opinion, is the biggest problem our society faces? <span style="color: #0b5394;">A lack of compassion. I think if we all just stopped for a second and considered what our words/ actions do to others and the impact they have the whole world would be a much better place.</span></div>
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9) What is one of your pet peeves? <span style="color: #6fa8dc;">When people don't understand/ notice the line or proper order to enter things... for example... I was waiting for the subway, it pulled up and I was standing right to the side of a door. I then had a man push me aside to get into the subway before me even though I was clearly standing there waiting for people to exit.</span></div>
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10) What is one demographic that truly pisses you off, and why. <span style="color: #674ea7;">Entitled people. Ugh it skews younger, but it can be anyone, the person who thinks that they're doing you a favor by working for you or the adult who thinks it's okay to yell at someone because their company paid for lunch isn't there at the exact moment they want it to be.</span></div>
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11) What's the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning?<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"> Why me? why is it so early?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000;">My questions:</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">1. Who is a role model to you?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">2. What celebrity would you wish to never exist?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">3. What is your favorite candy bar?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">4. 15 years into your marriage would you rather find out your spouse is cheating on you or is a closeted gay? Why?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">5. What is the coolest place you've ever been?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">6. Dog or Cat person?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">7. What TV show can you not miss?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">8. Most favorite book? Why?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">9. If you had an unlimited amount of money but couldn't use it for anything charitable what would you do?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">10. What did you want to be when you were 5?</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">11. Be honest... how often do you check Facebook?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000;">IF YOU READ THIS... THEN YOU'RE TAGGED!</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-87427075673037628892012-03-08T13:24:00.000-08:002012-03-08T13:30:56.624-08:00An awkward feminist<div style="text-align: center;">
Man oh man have women been in the press lately. And of course I have opinions. I don't know why this blog has turned into my political sounding board, but it has. Sorry if you're apathetic.</div>
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WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD TODAY?</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't swear, so my blog doesn't swear...</td></tr>
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I would never think I was a die hard feminist. Someday, I want to have kids and be a stay at home mom. I love that idea. However, I don't think what I want is right for everyone and that everyone else should want that too. I think women should have just as much power as men when it comes to making their own decisions. I will tell you that the stay at home mom thing is COMPLETELY my decision. If I wanted to work full time, get a graduate degree, do anything I want, I know Chad would support me 100%. I am not oppressed. I made this decision. </div>
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I think everyone has the right to decide. I think that is what is upsetting me the most. I feel like there has been a lot of craziness happening in the world of women's rights.</div>
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<b>Roe vs. Wade:</b></div>
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Really? We are debating this again? I do not agree with abortion, I will never get an abortion, I would never tell a friend who has confided in me that they should get an abortion, but I do not think abortions should be illegal. Should there be restrictions? Yes. Would you like to know what happens when something is illegal? It still happens, but in a wholly unsafe way. It's back alleys and coat hangers and horribleness. Also, it leads to more unwanted children in the world. Unwanted children doesn't mean more children to adopt for families that can't have kids necessarily. It leads to kids who aren't raised with a parent or parents who love them unconditionally. It leads to abandoned children.. just take a look at Romania's history. When abortion was banned in Romania it led to 1 million plus children living in orphanages and not enough resources to care for them. </div>
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Also, <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2012/jan/25/rick-santorum-rape-pregnancy">Rick Santorum has said</a>, basically, that you should make lemonade from lemons if you have been impregnated by a rapist. That you should treasure it. WOW. Rape is a horrific experience in general. I can't imagine after trying to recover from that, then finding out your pregnant, how that must feel. It just makes me so upset I don't even have words. He even claims if it happened to his daughter he would still be firmly pro-life. I'm throwing the BS flag on the field or diagnosing him as a sociopath. I just can't believe any dad would look into his daughters scared eyes and say, "what a blessing" after finding out that she was assaulted and now has even more additional baggage to deal with. Also, imagine that conversation that mother would have with the child. Either the "why did you give me up?" (because you remind me of the most traumatic event of my life) or the "who is my dad?" (this horrible man that forced himself upon me) </div>
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P.S. I HATE the terms pro-life and pro-choice. I am pro- life choice.</div>
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<b>New Mexico:</b></div>
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I saw<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/07/staff-out-pregnant-8th-grader-at-school-assembly_n_1327865.html"> this story on the Huffington Post</a> today and it made me so upset. Honestly, I would love to see every single teacher/ administrator at that school fired. To expel someone for being pregnant is ridiculous. To then have them come back and make them stand on the stage in front of their entire school and tell everyone they are pregnant is cruel. I cannot believe that adults would let this happen. Isn't there enough tormenting going on in schools already? Why add to it by putting her personal struggle on display like that. If this had happened to my (hypothetical) child... oh man there would be HELL. I would not rest until everyone was fired, my child's new private education and the cost to take her to/from was paid in full by the school district etc. </div>
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Perhaps the school thought this was the best way to keep others from having sex/ getting pregnant. Which brings me to another issue I'm struggling with...</div>
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<b>Utah:</b></div>
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/07/utah-passes-bill-allowing_n_1326777.html?ref=education">Utah has passed a bill </a>that says schools can only teach abstinence based sex ed and that teachers aren't allowed to answer any questions a student has about sex, contraceptives or homosexuality. REALLY? They said that they had a different sex ed program in place and it didn't reduce the number of teenage pregnancies so they thought this was best. Also, they don't want outsiders telling children stuff they should be learning about in their home.</div>
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Let's poke some holes in this.... perhaps the reason teenage pregnancy is so high in Utah is less what they're taught (or not taught) in schools, and more because of Utah culture. Utah has a VERY large Mormon population. Mormons are very strict about their beliefs that sex should wait till marriage, and it is also, mostly, a lot of small towns. Teenagers are going to have sex, not all of them, but some will. No teenager wants their parents to find out they had/ are having sex. If the only way to get any sort of birth control in Utah is to have a store employee unlock the display case for you or go to your Dr. you're not going to do that. Not to mention that store employee/ Dr. is a member of your religion/ congregation and now knows what you're up to and will most likely tell your parents... Those measures aren't sex deterrents, they're just going to cause teens to not have safe sex. That's why teenage pregnancy is high. </div>
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Second, the reason sex ed has shown up in schools is because society does a crap job of preparing their kids for it. Also, there is not a single teenager on earth that wants to have a conversation like that with their parents. Heck I got married at 27 and I was worried my mother was going to give me a sex talk. I was almost skittish around her during my entire engagement. If a kid isn't taught anything from his parents, which knowing Mormon culture VERY well I know a lot of Mormon parents won't talk to their children about it, and doesn't learn about it in school- where are they suppose to learn about this? They, most likely, can't even ask another trusted adult because their teacher isn't allowed to talk to them about it and they're not asking a religious adult they trust because they worry it will go back to their parents again. </div>
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<b>Birth Control/ Sandra Fluke:</b></div>
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<b> </b>First why is Rush even on the air still. Gosh I feel like all he's doing is saying thing to enrage other people. Second, what I found most offensive about his rant is that he was incorrect and creepy. He was incorrect, the measure wasn't saying the federal government was to pay for contraceptives- it was that employers and health insurance companies would pay for it. And second he's creepy in that he thinks that anyone using contraceptive should post a video online of them having sex so he can get value for what he paid for. So he flat out says that he should get to watch all the porn he wants because some women don't want to get pregnant. I take personal offense at his statements. I'm on birth control and it's not so I can be a floosy and sleep around, it's so that my husband and I can enjoy the beginning of our marriage and not bring a child into the world when we are not at all able to provide the type of home we want for it. By type of home we want for it I don't mean I think I should wait till all our debt is gone and we have a nice house and a closet full of baby gap clothing, I mean until we are mature enough to care for it correctly. Until we are at a place where we have health insurance for a child, and resources to live on. Right now my job barely pays for the minimal bills Chad and I currently have. If we were to try to add a baby to this mix right now it just wouldn't work. </div>
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I'm upset. </div>
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I'm upset that we seem to lack compassion for those around us, but demand tolerance from those who lack compassion for us. I am seriously blown away by the words of people today. I can't stand people who think that their values and views are so superior that they need to be forced on everyone else. I challenge everyone to just stop and take a look at the counter argument. What would you do if you were in their shoes? What about if it was your mother, daughter, wife, best friend etc.? </div>
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P.S. Feel free to debate me... I enjoy counter arguments and learning more why people think what they do... just play nice and respect all.</div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-18470122646485270072012-03-01T13:26:00.003-08:002012-03-02T06:06:28.618-08:00100% Opinion... but I want to share<b>I really want to emphasis that this is 100% my opinion and I do not represent anyone at all when I make this opinion, but as a student of history and an outspoken feminist Mormon I thought I would compile my opinion on the matter... do what you want with it.</b><br />
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It seems there has been a lot to do with the embarrassing history of black members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS for short). A lot of it has been kicked up by <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/the-genesis-of-a-churchs-stand-on-race/2012/02/22/gIQAQZXyfR_story.html">The Washington Post </a>article about this topic. A lot of people were up in arms about what Bro. Bott said in this article. I'm not going to address his thoughts, I'm sure it's been addressed elsewhere. I'm going to address the sentiment of the time and perhaps put the whole controversy in context.<br />
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In 1830 the LDS church was established in upstate New York. In1804 all the Northern states (states north of the Mason-Dixon line)
had passed laws to abolish slavery gradually. Congress in 1807 banned
the international slave trade. Slavery faded in the border states and
urban areas but expanded in highly profitable cotton states of the Deep South.<br />
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So let's think about Joseph Smith's background (the founder of the LDS church). Study into his family will show that they are from the North and were pretty progressive in that day and age. Since slavery had been abolished where Smith lived since before his birth I think it's safe to assume he had a pretty progressive stance on the position of African American's as equal citizens. Those beliefs would explain why he was very comfortable with the idea African Americans having the same privileges in the early LDS church as any other person. <br />
<br />
Let's now fast forward a few years. The LDS church has bounced around the United States quite a bit. New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Missouri. For those of you who slept through History class, Missouri wasn't exactly the best place to be... it was a frontier state, which are notoriously rough places to live, and a state caught up in constant and somewhat extreme turmoil. In 1820 the Missouri Compromise was passed. It said that slavery would not exist in any of the new territories except Missouri. So the LDS church went from free state to free state to free state to slave state. The slave state status of Missouri was tempestuous and caused a lot of concern for many people. So now imagine if you will, you are a slave owner living in Missouri and a lot of abolitionists (assumption here, since many LDS at this time are from the North, I think it's a safe one) are moving into your state in the 1830's. You would be very wary of the newcomers. They also have a weird new religion and are quickly bringing in many more people every day to live in the state. Wouldn't you assume they're doing this to overturn the slavery laws? Perhaps you think it's best to drive them out, using any means necessary. Now, imagine you're the leader of this new group. You and your followers have put down roots, you've built homes, stores, places of worship, you believe that Missouri is your promised land, wouldn't you want to do anything to you could to stop the persecution? This is the time frame and scenery when the LDS church stopped ordaining their black members to the Priesthood. Is it correct? No, but at a time where a black person was considered not even human by many, treating them as an equal was a very radical idea. <br />
<br />
At this time the early LDS church also made a lot of policies during these times in regards to black people. One was that they would not preach to them. The reasoning for this was also founded in the time. When Mormon men went to preach around the US they encouraged members to join the other Saints in Missouri/ Illinois. How could you tell a slave in the south all about the LDS church doctrine and then ask them to join the saints without asking them to run away? That was illegal, so leaders informed the members to not preach to the black/ slave community in the south. <br />
<br />
So now let's fast forward again. Joseph Smith has been killed and Brigham Young is chosen to replace him and lead the LDS people during another time of upheaval. This is still a time where the LDS church is growing rapidly and struggling. A lot of people splinter from the LDS church for a variety of reasons, but the basic is that they feel someone else should led the LDS church. If you're a leader in that setting you want to provide leadership and answers for your flock. Brigham Young joined the LDS church right before it moved to Missouri so for most of his membership he didn't see any black men receive the Priesthood and he was a scriptorium. He knew his scriptures, so I'm sure at this time he made what he thought was a solid connection between the curse of Cain/ Ham, black people, and Priesthood rights. He was not alone in this assumption, it was a pretty common thought preached over many pulpits at the time by all denominations. <br />
<br />
So then after a very long time the Civil rights movement occurred in the United States. Black people were finally told, separate wasn't equal (1954) and that segregation will not be allowed (1964). It took the United States a long time to get to this point in history. And change was slow. VERY SLOW. They were slow to understand that equality is for all, that the color of your skin doesn't mean you're any different.<br />
<br />
The LDS church was also slow. LDS members are taught that anything the previous prophet has said is from God. The major hiccup here is that at the time of Brigham Young's presidency, pretty much anything he said, either as The President of the LDS church or just as Brigham Young, citizen of the US, was recorded and considered doctrine. So how does a church catch up to the times? It waits until its leader brings about new doctrine. I don't know why this doctrine did not come till 1978, but then I consider the LDS belief about how a person receives revelation. The idea being that members of the LDS church receive inspiration after they have studied it out, come to a decision and prayed to God about it. Now the belief at this time was that a Prophet of God said that black men will not receive the Priesthood in this life. It takes a very confident President of the LDS church to decide to go ponder, make a decision and ask God if you're correct that you should overturn something you have always learned was doctrine. I know I could never be that bold, I am very grateful that Spencer W. Kimball was; as "late" as he was.<br />
<br />
I am not trying to defend the actions of the past, I am very happy I live in an equal rights slave free world, but I thought seeing everything through a historical perspective is important to understand why people did what they did. <br />
<br />
Many people argue that the LDS church should release a statement saying that Brigham Young was wrong. I truly believe that will never happen. I think it would shake many people. To say that something a President/ Prophet said was wrong is to call into question every single one of his other statements and the authority, most LDS people believe he had. LDS people believe he was the mouthpiece of God. So the LDS church will say that <a href="http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/racial-remarks-in-washington-post-article?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LDSNewsRoomTop15+%28RSS%3A+LDS+Newsroom%29">Bro. Bott was wrong</a>, but it will never officially come out and say a prophet was. <br />
<br />
So on behalf of me I would like to say sorry. I'm sorry people with different skin tones were (and still are) treated poorly. And I'm personally sorry that the church I belong to wasn't ahead of the curve when it comes to Equal Rights.<br />
<br />
Feel free to comment and share differing opinions or insights... <br />
<br />
References:<br />
My own extensive knowledge of LDS history<br />
My own extensive knowledge of US history <br />
https://www.dialoguejournal.com/2012/mormonisms-negro-doctrine-an-historical-overview/ <br />
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missouri_compromiseMichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-45234629231564972332012-02-07T11:39:00.000-08:002012-03-02T06:07:07.485-08:00Why I am HATING the primaries this yearThis will be a political RANT, feel free to ignore if you don't care what I think and what makes me angry, politics wise. <br />
<br />
I hate the primaires this year. Like more than any other year. It has been so annoying and here's why:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I have a bunch of facebook friends that are Ron Paul disciples. I say disciples because they aren't supporters. They are people who believe he is the savior of the American government. They truly believe that the US is right at the point of crumbling a la ancient greek and roman governments and that Ron Paul is going to be able to prevent that if he's president. They don't believe he can't win... which brings me to my next point.</li>
<li>A lot of people have been saying this year that electability doesn't matter. I don't know where they get that idea. If they all think Obama is the worst president ever (more on that) then their goal should be to present a candidate that the general population would feel good about, one that would be able to draw support from moderates, the moderate voters are the ones people should be concerned with. Also, the primaries show who is electable (not to mention the 2008 election) and when a candidate consistently comes in 3rd or 4th place, that doesn't mean "the establishment" is rigging elections, that means lots of voters don't think they would be a good choice for president.</li>
<li>I also HATE the people who tell me that if I'm Mormon I SHOULD vote for Ron Paul. Last I checked there is no official party for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Please don't take your interpretation of church doctrine and use it to try to guilt me into voting for you candidate. My personal religious beliefs are actually part of the reason why if he were to get the nomination (HA) I would volunteer for Obama's campaign. Neither of us are bad Mormons for those beliefs. </li>
<li>My next issue is with all the Obama hating. Why do so many people hate him? It doesn't make any sense. I understand the campaigning against him, that's fine. I understand why GOP candidates are saying he should be a one term President, they want his job. What I don't get is why so many people say he's a socialist (he's not) or they think that everything that is wrong with the country is his fault. Or that they're happy with "anyone but him". Do you really think that mindset is going to change anything if that's all you think?</li>
<li>Why Newt why? </li>
</ul>
<br />
I am officially an independent voter, I am also undecided. I should be someone candidates are trying to appeal to. With all of this though, I'm leaning toward not voting. I'm disenfranchised with the system. What's worse is that I don't think I'm alone.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-827712725177329472012-02-03T07:55:00.000-08:002012-03-02T06:07:22.050-08:00Pinterest and I are breaking upI don't know if I'm okay with it. It was NOT mutual. And I don't think Pinterest is fully rejecting me either. It's a shaky break at best.<br />
<br />
The other day I wanted to post something on Pinterest and I can't get into my account. :( I have sent 2 emails to them and have not heard back. It's quite devastating. So right now, I'm going to use my blog as my Pinterest till I get it back:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjce03Hzup04BtxtUrnJOtvLMcTSrdYo4nEzhdzU-CM_waZJzLXJYP5tuctQvthZYdR3LIaKDwHpTP5huqldMCs77VE4PXyVusKE3fqnBI5bHsTDq7Pl8URE3fgmuVZGS6oAjyMwUX2aWs/s1600/babaymustaches.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjce03Hzup04BtxtUrnJOtvLMcTSrdYo4nEzhdzU-CM_waZJzLXJYP5tuctQvthZYdR3LIaKDwHpTP5huqldMCs77VE4PXyVusKE3fqnBI5bHsTDq7Pl8URE3fgmuVZGS6oAjyMwUX2aWs/s320/babaymustaches.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think I could make these.... be awesome when I someday have a baby... unless it takes after it's Dad and is exceptionally hairy out of the womb</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhufAssLuYKRV_MOivAIilfwMDDOenWUnVpX1XzLKUPGcYnDfE0x9ndQPRBaM-5-4_CODdvf_Wftp60nJxfVkE7AS8mNpSkud9R96x8rqO-lhhrEzANKj6Al2wYxJ-8FlNmpfIIoga_Qs/s1600/dressup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhufAssLuYKRV_MOivAIilfwMDDOenWUnVpX1XzLKUPGcYnDfE0x9ndQPRBaM-5-4_CODdvf_Wftp60nJxfVkE7AS8mNpSkud9R96x8rqO-lhhrEzANKj6Al2wYxJ-8FlNmpfIIoga_Qs/s320/dressup.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I just like this quote.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_76114906" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU9oISkzIilKpFk_YiOmTGcGu2-DShEQjZHTFujd8mA5iqZlCUXoRHb6OqYKGTVa6UOvqgjcMLy4CctRKaXLiUFp4XhsbRBvI5-2_4S9bl9XYi3HJ6ddSb4BXzuVttdn4MBGgUVMrkxtQ/s320/infographicholidaycard.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://amandajanejones.com/#1287163/A-Year-In-Review">Infographic as a Holiday Card... such a cute idea</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrJXJa_ECd_Vi1BPMiUZ3onBp3js5rq6P7hhepRqlwjAso7fNyK4EINxh25OcAUQknXOSodwy8KPKU8hK0RLlO6xDChqYLIZVjvWc4XNkiB98l1ejIhtOd7AH0s-3e2gt2kM3ggcP9Do/s1600/Widiane-Suites-and-Spa_Primary_wide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrJXJa_ECd_Vi1BPMiUZ3onBp3js5rq6P7hhepRqlwjAso7fNyK4EINxh25OcAUQknXOSodwy8KPKU8hK0RLlO6xDChqYLIZVjvWc4XNkiB98l1ejIhtOd7AH0s-3e2gt2kM3ggcP9Do/s320/Widiane-Suites-and-Spa_Primary_wide.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.widiane.net/accueil-ang.html">Visiting Morocco is on my bucket list</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamlBdyRaIJ5EE5QZv9125rrB21DvHamr75jt0eSxzCwD5pfrdpffyJIbdk5gsBopT9KkhEHFGEKfYdgWlyzKVsFeWrU8fm_HW6itt6qe7ccEX7PA316HoVhPVYdNpu6OKqwPlgTDidhY/s1600/Bohemian-Tours_Secondary1_wide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamlBdyRaIJ5EE5QZv9125rrB21DvHamr75jt0eSxzCwD5pfrdpffyJIbdk5gsBopT9KkhEHFGEKfYdgWlyzKVsFeWrU8fm_HW6itt6qe7ccEX7PA316HoVhPVYdNpu6OKqwPlgTDidhY/s320/Bohemian-Tours_Secondary1_wide.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.bohemiantours.com/">Himalayan Trek- yes please </a></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBYGb4ul0NfYTDB5u0qWvxKEG89Tq2dJxla-yl25_P9c2VubUj7S5F_m0PM6VqGJV_Ek65iU05rMtzrLi0C4sBUv2SwdDtr_hpbRcb-xUWnEor_XMm4TlFVste1BR_fUv_35fJfNxvFRI/s1600/Authentic-Ireland-Travel_Sec14_wide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBYGb4ul0NfYTDB5u0qWvxKEG89Tq2dJxla-yl25_P9c2VubUj7S5F_m0PM6VqGJV_Ek65iU05rMtzrLi0C4sBUv2SwdDtr_hpbRcb-xUWnEor_XMm4TlFVste1BR_fUv_35fJfNxvFRI/s320/Authentic-Ireland-Travel_Sec14_wide.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.authenticireland.com/">Stay in a castle!</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnv21zd1xeRp9dRLQ9Wnl39F1f_BV0VMWtBDDT14vHM7xUQa8lo5Pur3AJ6dWMhZSzZe0MbYaaL6jIXwIDUvKGT9_8A5ak-5Y3Ov94rkMZ_L1J_eGmi32m8Ce3kBoFtYzbLmcdIwEj7AQ/s1600/bag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnv21zd1xeRp9dRLQ9Wnl39F1f_BV0VMWtBDDT14vHM7xUQa8lo5Pur3AJ6dWMhZSzZe0MbYaaL6jIXwIDUvKGT9_8A5ak-5Y3Ov94rkMZ_L1J_eGmi32m8Ce3kBoFtYzbLmcdIwEj7AQ/s320/bag.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/handbags/hobo/PRDOVR%7E63020/63020.jsp">I want this bag. </a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-BuO0pgqcB8xmJW9s858eudmZSJM41R00DaL7kyQqnNTcc1ostMXmwFW1AI96jY6M_hWnhyRTys7jst_95ccgJJL2XL4nbOSJHSqTe6ZYJ8vBaS5qh1nGDVqsvVadUCfvkyXxr3npKxI/s1600/Maldives.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-BuO0pgqcB8xmJW9s858eudmZSJM41R00DaL7kyQqnNTcc1ostMXmwFW1AI96jY6M_hWnhyRTys7jst_95ccgJJL2XL4nbOSJHSqTe6ZYJ8vBaS5qh1nGDVqsvVadUCfvkyXxr3npKxI/s400/Maldives.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm obsessed with Maldives- Anantara Dhigu</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I still have Pinterest access on my phone, which is why I don't think it's completely over yet... I really do hope they take me back. It's a bit of an obsession, and I pin so many yummy treats, dream vacation spots and fabulous home improvement options that I really want it back. But until then I will visit <a href="http://www.houzz.com/">THIS SITE</a>... it's like an architecture/ interior design fake Pinterest. You can look at millions of homes/ rooms etc.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06354270879391955852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-8309917134008818742011-11-01T14:26:00.000-07:002011-11-01T14:26:15.748-07:00To err is human, to forgive divine<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello friends,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvEsurRQrjcH2bkhl5KJbK1z_vv5HdCtai7T2KvMFETztqPzlL9tgO3MjUH7ZCUuDg1S60CGpbyOTXyU5L9TOreUJF8EW23PP5beADV0qDWu0z92FYjPKNKUupBlThKQjmYFwwoQV7jqG6/s1600/to_err_is_human_to_forgive_divine_bumper_sticker-p128569968014658325trl0_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvEsurRQrjcH2bkhl5KJbK1z_vv5HdCtai7T2KvMFETztqPzlL9tgO3MjUH7ZCUuDg1S60CGpbyOTXyU5L9TOreUJF8EW23PP5beADV0qDWu0z92FYjPKNKUupBlThKQjmYFwwoQV7jqG6/s320/to_err_is_human_to_forgive_divine_bumper_sticker-p128569968014658325trl0_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Something has been weighing on my mind quite a bit and I
thought maybe just writing it out would help. Since this is a personal thought, it’s on my blog, not the one Chad and I have.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> I am going to start out this post by saying that
any rude comments will be deleted</b>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write this here because I need advice, if you have any. I
am not writing this to get others involved and wish no ill will to the
offenders, but I’ve been upset for too long and I carry it around too much and
it consumes me. I don’t want it to consume me anymore, but I don’t know how to
stop it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am having a hard time forgiving two people in my life
right now and I don’t know how to get over the hump. Because I don’t want to
offend or drag anyone into my bias you’re only going to get basic fact:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend 1- said something very hurtful to me, which really
struck a cord because it was hypocritical and cutting. There was very little
base to it besides the gossip of others. It has made me not want to be a friend
to that person anymore, but we have a long history of friendship and I don’t
want to throw it all away, but it seems like it’s been far too long now to
bring it up and that it hurt my feelings. But how do I forgive and forget? Is
it worth it? Should I bother trying to preserve a “friendship” where I now
believe that this person can’t possibly know me very well at all if they truly
believe what they said to me?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend 2- did something that hurt me greatly. What they did
has tarnished a very happy memory for me. I know for a fact they knew that what
they were doing was going to be hurtful to me because they tried to keep me
from finding out about it as long as possible. They also didn’t actually tell
me, they let me find out through the grapevine. It’s not anything they can fix,
nor did they try/consider to when other implied it might be upsetting to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How do I do it? How do I forgive? I don’t want to still be
upset, I don’t want to immediately think about how they have hurt me every time
I think of them, and I don’t want to have this angry wall up, but I’m at a impasse.
I am no good at confrontation, and honestly I think in both cases it would do
more harm then good. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I usually am quite good at forgiving and I don’t typically
carry a grudge, so I guess I’ve never needed to really develop the talent of
forgiveness very much so now it feels like it’s an impossible feat. Blah… any
words of wisdom/ advice?<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-6829167853328005312011-08-19T18:13:00.000-07:002012-03-02T06:07:40.816-08:00A new blog<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZwvjdqmzZuuHC62op_pTknCG94Z8IQ-NIFmIVUxqbOUJ9oc5xRWpxWXhm0VyJ-P0OW5f0ieig2KsCDSrplE6yBQfB7S_ChdJJLL3VVSfG2KrU7xaC0Z4AXq0ZPd9I3PrXiBv7_i2ir1UZ/s1600/184155_10150756489520145_649840144_20165090_21945_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZwvjdqmzZuuHC62op_pTknCG94Z8IQ-NIFmIVUxqbOUJ9oc5xRWpxWXhm0VyJ-P0OW5f0ieig2KsCDSrplE6yBQfB7S_ChdJJLL3VVSfG2KrU7xaC0Z4AXq0ZPd9I3PrXiBv7_i2ir1UZ/s320/184155_10150756489520145_649840144_20165090_21945_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>So I haven't blogged in a bit.... Sorry! I've been so busy. I got married and it was AWESOME!!! I highly recommend it :) okay enough smug married talk here... We went on our honeymoon to the Dominican Republic, came home, loaded almost everything we own into a Ubox, Uhaul's POD service, put the rest of it in our luggage and flew out to New York a few days later. It was a whirlwind adventure to say the least, and once we're finall unpacked and living I'll post pictures. <br />
<br />
We are in New York right now, living on a futon and eating off paper plates ( thank you Bruggemans!) until our stuff gets here. It has been pretty fantastic so far... But I'm ready to find a job and make money instead of spending it and being settled in. <br />
<br />
Anyway, I'll be keeping this blog still as my own personal blog for my own randomness, but Chad and I are going to blog together at newlywedsinnewyork.blogspot.com so check that one more and follow it and whatnot.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-85832477237096661302011-07-22T13:01:00.000-07:002012-03-02T06:07:59.423-08:00I'm over it<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijDBjeFo93y5mIX5VJ1s9gZOjy4WO-IQX1hxNJmyAta2gBgTbxhzk7LVxqe_tU6kHMBE0h5RX23ZKhElFIZKOlzpQWGCCUkgbTYR8QfHbgJ-m8u437ulZSOjedDn7PZymnS07EWDXlNC5x/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijDBjeFo93y5mIX5VJ1s9gZOjy4WO-IQX1hxNJmyAta2gBgTbxhzk7LVxqe_tU6kHMBE0h5RX23ZKhElFIZKOlzpQWGCCUkgbTYR8QfHbgJ-m8u437ulZSOjedDn7PZymnS07EWDXlNC5x/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpg" /></a>So Chad is off in the woods, and has been for the past 24 so days. Can I explain just how over it I am? I don't like that I'm making all the final decisions without his input for the wedding. I don't like that he was not here to cuddle me when I was puking everything I ate for 24 hours. I don't like that he's not here to stop me from meddling in other people's lives. I don't like that when I have a nightmare I can't call him and have him talk me back to sleep. I don't like that when I can't sleep he isn't around to talk me to sleep. I don't like not having him with me when I go out to dinner, or a movie, or a friend's house. I don't like that I never hear from him. I don't like that he's not around to be with me, cuddle me, hug me, laugh with me, talk with me.<br />
<br />
UGH<br />
It is a very good thing he comes home this weekend because I'm just so over him being gone. <br />
<br />
OKAY WHINING OVER.<br />
<br />
In 2 weeks exactly I will be exiting the LA temple married to Chadwick Steven McCombs.... yay!!!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-75314410398930498352011-07-12T15:15:00.000-07:002012-03-02T06:08:24.225-08:00What happened to me?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66dt0na94OCcw3uqrzva26jez6j0Az9s65BvySZdTuOR6u4ByUE3QGUDuLPE1CykDTbzXneCTAkgzjLo7h4AbR6w57Cl6eUoRr7hLiIK43rd1RmbKrePuk-6-ZJHUoAtGjt6Ifrn0fUpu/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66dt0na94OCcw3uqrzva26jez6j0Az9s65BvySZdTuOR6u4ByUE3QGUDuLPE1CykDTbzXneCTAkgzjLo7h4AbR6w57Cl6eUoRr7hLiIK43rd1RmbKrePuk-6-ZJHUoAtGjt6Ifrn0fUpu/s320/photo.JPG" width="240" /></a>The quick answer is I don't know. I just got a bit of blogging fatigue I think.<br />
<br />
Here's a quick rundown of my life in the last little bit:<br />
~Photographer DRAMA<br />
~Horrible co-worker saying bad things about me<br />
~Found a place to live in New York... but without Batman :(<br />
~Chad is away at camp... and I miss him a ton<br />
~Less than a month till my wedding!<br />
~lost some weight<br />
~got my hair all dyed for the wedding and it looks AMAZING (that's what the picture is of)<br />
~my dress is looking like a dress now :)<br />
~July's Saturdays: drop Chad off at camp, bridal shower, bridal shower/ cover band, baby shower/ pick Chad up, Wedding stuff!<br />
~NOTHING new in terms of jobs... so annoyed<br />
~Sleeping has been lame... as in I can't do it<br />
~Massage tonight... yes!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-85617907072897271882011-06-22T15:27:00.000-07:002012-03-02T06:08:53.074-08:00Super InsightfulHey Mormon friends (and those friends who want to raise their daughters with a more rigid moral code),<br />
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You should read this.... " <a href="http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Standards-Night-Is-Substandard-Teaching-Sexuality-to-the-Young-Women?offset=0&max=1">Why Standards Night is Substandard</a>". I agree with the author... I think that the young women of the Church are sometimes given the short end of a stick and aren't communicated to properly.<br />
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Some of my favorite excepts include:<br />
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"A question welled in my throat, one that my neighbor might balk at. I asked it anyway. "Would you say Amy has power in her life?" <br />
She looked uneasy, and I didn't blame her. Power is not a commodity we associate with Mormon girls and women. To our ears the very concept of power sounds worldly and corrupt, unless we're talking about priesthood power, which we qualify as exclusively masculine. But I wasn't talking about priesthood power, and I wasn't talking about the steel-fisted power of a political dictator or corporate mogul, either.<br />
I tried to explain. "What I mean is, does Amy sense that she's in control of her own life? That she has the right and the ability and the opportunity to get what she wants and what she needs?"<br />
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"The balance sheet continued to change for me and my girlfriends as we emerged from childhood into womanhood. Our increasingly voluptuous bodies were reliable tools of status and control. The power was heady, but confusing, because wielding it always left us feeling empty and weak. And it was treacherous, because its force attracted not only the male peers we were aiming for, but also troubled stepfathers and leering strangers. But by the time we realized the perils, we'd grown dependent on this means of power. Of course it didn't yield true power, because it didn't originate within ourselves: it originated within the perceptions of the boys and men we hoped to entice. Yet in our economy of success, sexual attraction was the only currency we thought we held. And counterfeit money was better than nothing." <br />
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It's a great article. And my personal experience is this: I was awkward and a late bloomer in high school. NO guy liked me... I didn't have to worry about sexual purity, because no one wanted anything from me. I got attention in school by being smart, and that taught me a lesson about myself. Then I went to college and that changed and I learned all about the womanly wiles of power over men. Then I had to get into the tricky area of sexual purity... but because this power didn't come until a sense of self-esteem and maturity developed and I had a sense of self- driven power. That's what saved me from Amy's fate... I'm sure of it. <br />
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Some of this is what I always tried to teach my girls at EFY when I was a counselor. That you don't need a man to prove you're strong and powerful... that YOU are a strong powerful person because of who you are.<br />
So insightful...<br />
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Seriously- Ladies, Moms, Dads, everyone... read it.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83030281762060645.post-75482693258578879482011-06-15T12:03:00.000-07:002012-03-02T06:09:09.713-08:00Stress in an image<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is my life. It might look like it's better than it is... I mean I only have 77 things to go and I've done 111- that's so good.... but then if you take a closer look it's a bit more crazy. First 51 days.... that's so stinking close sounding it makes me crazy. Second, everything in the pink/peach color... that means they're overdue- they should be done already. And some of those things like pick up invitations and ceremony (as in ring ceremony) haven't been done and they need to be.Third, some of the to do's that are already checked off are things like "think about what you want your colors to be", "decide on your colors", think about... etc. Also, a lot didn't apply to a Mormon wedding so I just checked those right off too.<br />
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Blah.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17378025882312994469noreply@blogger.com0