I am not okay today. I am allowed to not be okay. Please stop trying to silence me and tell me it will be okay. I am allowed to feel like things are horrible and you don't get to take my voice away. Why am I not okay? Because yesterday my country told me that they want a sexual assaulter to represent them. By electing this man I re-live that horrible night in 2004 when my voice was taken away. Every time the soon to-be leader of my country speaks I am going to re-live that moment, because when I see that man; I see the man that assaulted me and tried to take my voice away. When I see my country's future leader I have to re-live all the shame, blame and trauma that I fought to pull myself through. I re-live the panic attacks and the breakdowns and the fear. So no, it will not be okay. **I** am not okay today, and it may take a long time for me to be okay. I want all my friends to understand my anger and hurt are NOT because my candidate lost. It's because that man wo
So the other week on Facebook I alluded to being a small part in a very wonderful thing. Now that I've taken some time to mull over it I think I can share a bit of my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, I get really down on the world. I think people are just selfish, unfeeling and cold. That no one cares much about anyone outside of their immediate small circle. I feel like I see it daily in the news, on Facebook and all around me. It breaks my heart. The other day I was reminded that I was wrong. Thank goodness. To be honest (which if I can't be honest on my blog where the heck can I be) I have been incredibly depressed these last few months we've been in China. I'm lonely, (love ya Chad, but I'm an extrovert) I've been sick almost constantly and I just want to leave. I have been thinking about how the $760 plane change ticket might be worth it. A year is a long time to spend in a random Chinese town. Anyway, right at the depths of the depression someone name