Digressive Ramblings

This will most likely be a whiny post, so before I begin I want to say I am thankful that I have a steady paycheck that allows me to support the love of my life while he goes to school. I have an adorable dog who makes me smile and really compared to some life is just fine. That's my issue though... it's just fine. I'm sitting here completely demotivated... I absolutely hate my job... like more than I can express in words, but I think if anyone I worked with at Disney could see me and how I work now they would think someone body swapped me. I am always late, I just can't get out of bed to get here on time. I give the bare minimum; I didn't use to but you get so sick of hearing no and I'll consider it or I'll let someone know and then nothing happens. I'm rarely smiling, I let deadlines slip without caring. WHO AM I???? The number of times my Manager has flat out lied to my face is actually shocking- no pause no nervous look, but a flat out lie. It make...

I get sick... A LOT. I use to just power through it at work and be okay... now I opt to stay home... I think that says something about my job satisfaction, but there you go. Anyway, when I am sick I have a lot of random thoughts to share so here they are: Running: I signed up to do another 5k. This is a scary thing for me because I'm a sprinter. Run .25 miles in 1:25.. no problem, run 3.2 miles in general? Scary. Did I mention I have environmental asthma? SO if we run by a car I will lose like 75% of my lung capacity? blah. Anyway I was going to run every day this week so I could do the 3.2 miles, but I got sick. Awesome. But the nice thing is I'll have a friend running with me! And we get metals. That should keep me running :)  My Job: When the only thing that keeps me wanting to stay at my job is a plastic rectangle that gets me into Disneyland for free I think it's time I start thinking about a new job eh? I mean it's nice and fun, but at the end of the day ...

Wow that's heavy huh? Maybe it's heavy because I have a lot of hopes and dreams for the next 365 days and I don't know what I want to share... maybe I'll just be vauge New Location- I love my parents, but I can't be living there much longer Stability- a lot of decisions are being made the next few months that greatly impact my life, that needs to calm down Gainfully employed- I would like to keep my job (lots of layoffs right now around here) or find a better one I'm super serious about my weight loss now. I track what I eat, I work out so I want to lose weight. Is that so much to ask? Love: I'm in love with an amazing person. He's perfect for me. My hope/dream/goal is that I don't screw it up :)

I can't say much because this is a public blog... but in the span of 20 minutes I just did a few hard things... I'm shaking, but I'm proud of myself and you should be too. If I drank I'd say I would buy myself fancy champange and make everyone toast me today. I'll just celebrate at Ladies Night tonight!

So about a month ago I said to myself "this musing would be an awesome blog post for when I get to tickle my fancy." (that sounds so gross!) "Self, you should write it down so you remember. Nah, I don't need to." Well here I am not remembering... oh well. Today we will talk about life. Life is funny isn't it?   It changes a lot. It's weird. I know that may sound dumb but here's what my life looked like about a year ago (brought to you by Paint)   Now my life is this: I'm not complaining really, I'm kinda excited to find out what the Question Mark will be, but let me tell you the other plan was a lot easier to wrap my head around and plan my life around, because it was all planned out and it didn't depend on anyone else. I think that's what is crazy... other people , be it bosses or boyfriends or jerks who work at a certain Studio, co-workers or family... when my life depends on them more... it's scary.

Please don't think you need to react to any of these (that statement will make sense in a minute)... this is yesterday btw Today: woke up hit snooze hit snooze shower Dad came in and told me my grandpa died met Danica to carpool went to work worked meeting meeting team lunch meeting call with legal work paid LAST payment on my credit card  temple dinner with friends bed What a day!

1. Who is your hero? Why? I don't really have one... I know it's weird, but I never met someone I want to be like completely... more everyone I respect has aspects or traits I would like to emulate. 2. When you were a little tike, what did you want to be when you grew up? In first grade I walked in to "career" day dressed as a lawyer... I dabbled with the idea of movie star too, but lawyer was there since the beginning and stayed until life and God took me down a different path. 3. What is one goal you currently have? ONE? Just one? okay the goal I'm closest to achieving is my goal to pay off my credit card... I'm one paycheck away from it! YAY! 4. What life achievement are you most proud of? I have no idea... I think it might have been moving to Washington D.C. without knowing a soul there and being truly independent. 5. If you could do  anything  with your spare time, what would you do? Right now I'd sleep haha... but I think I would shop a lot ...

So this past week I've been living out of a suitcase. Blah. I recently talked about how I'm unlucky, but can laugh at myself- this has manifest itself in my travels last week. Here's a run down of my trip: Monday : Car service- almost got sick... yeah I've been nauseous before, but I've never prayed to not throw up in a car like I did. My flight- was late so I ran to my gate as the stairs were rolling away from the plane... the nice ticket agent made them let me on though! My Rental- small airport I had a journey just to find the car, then upon exiting they put the "airport exit right" AFTER the right I'm suppose to take... once I realize my error and turned around I realized I was in a restricted section of the airport. That was a bit too easy if you ask me. Food- in general food was my enemy in Wisconsin. We went to this nice restaurant I could eat NOTHING but the side salad. Yay! I opted for the will only make me a little sick cheese tortelli...

Do you speak Michellese? It's a very weird language full of words with different meanings, large words that are quite verbose and that people don't expect to be part of it, and general modification of word tenses. Who says it can't get nervous somewhere? Anyway, that's not what I wanted to write about... I wanted to talk about the fact that I am a nervous person, that it is, in fact, getting a bit nervous in here. It's not that I'm nervous like one of those jumpy people that are constantly twitching I'm just at a point in my life where I'm nervous about a lot of things. For instance, my life. Let me explain... I am not a lucky person... and I'm really okay with that. I truly believe that God gives you one of two traits when it comes to luck either you're lucky or you're blessed with the ability to laugh at your unluckiness. I was thinking about going through my friends to list a few examples... but I think that might lead to more drama...