Digressive Ramblings

So Chad is off in the woods, and has been for the past 24 so days. Can I explain just how over it I am? I don't like that I'm making all the final decisions without his input for the wedding. I don't like that he was not here to cuddle me when I was puking everything I ate for 24 hours. I don't like that he's not here to stop me from meddling in other people's lives. I don't like that when I have a nightmare I can't call him and have him talk me back to sleep. I don't like that when I can't sleep he isn't around to talk me to sleep. I don't like not having him with me when I go out to dinner, or a movie, or a friend's house. I don't like that I never hear from him.  I don't like that he's not around to be with me, cuddle me, hug me, laugh with me, talk with me. UGH It is a very good thing he comes home this weekend because I'm just so over him being gone. OKAY WHINING OVER. In 2 weeks exactly I will be exiting...

This is my life. It might look like it's better than it is... I mean I only have 77 things to go and I've done 111- that's so good.... but then if you take a closer look it's a bit more crazy. First 51 days.... that's so stinking close sounding it makes me crazy. Second, everything in the pink/peach color... that means they're overdue- they should be done already. And some of those things like pick up invitations and ceremony (as in ring ceremony) haven't been done and they need to be.Third, some of the to do's that are already checked off are things like "think about what you want your colors to be", "decide on your colors", think about... etc. Also, a lot didn't apply to a Mormon wedding so I just checked those right off too. Blah.

So in November, before Chad and I ever talked about getting married (but I might have been thinking about it) a friend of his approached him and asked if he would be the Waterfront Director at a Boy Scout Camp this summer. So he said yes thinking it was his last summer to do something like this. So now he's off in the wood of Utah this week for training. Which I am hating. Why? Because he's off in the woods without cell phone service for the entire week and so I have become that girl that is bummed and cried, yes cried, at the airport this morning. So lame. Chad keeps trying to tell me this is just practice for when he's at the camp and will be gone for a month without cell phone service. I don't even want to think about that. It makes me so depressed... the only nice thing is it's the month before the wedding so I can just throw my all into the final prep for that and pack and stuff... In order to stay busy this week I've set up a bunch of appointments a...

So Chad got into Columbia... and only Columbia so come end of August we will both be living in New York (hopefully the city and not a suburb...) I'm excited/nervous/scared/happy/proud/stressed/in awe/ every other emotion you could possibly feel. But today it all finally felt so real. I don't know why it was today... I don't know why it didn't happen when trying on dresses or tasting cake or any of the wedding planning. What made it real was talking to Chad's sister and saying "we". WE are moving to New York, WE are apartment hunting, WE aren't going to be around for Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving etc. WE are going to be in a huge city with a million people, but it's going to be just us 2 as we start building OUR life together. WOW. I'm excited.

UGH the last little bit has been HARD! Last night I went to use the bathroom before I started driving home. As usual I took my ring off to wash my hands. I do this because the ring is slightly large for me so if my hand gets wet my ring slides right off my finger. Anyway, I was having a bad day and I spaced and just left WITHOUT MY RING! I left work right around 5:50 and by the time I realized at 6:15 I called a co worker who was still at work and it wasn't in the bathroom anymore. I immediately emailed the biggest company distribution list I knew of letting them all know I left it and please help me get it back. NO RESPONSE! I was a MESS. I couldn't stop crying and feeling horrible. Chad was sooo good about it- he was so sweet reassuring me that it was just a ring and that we can get a new one if needed and that it's not a big deal. That it doesn't mean we're not going to get married or that we're not engaged anymore- that it's just a missing ring. But ...

We just set up our cake tasting/ order build out appointment. I got a sweet Groupon for a custom made 4 tier cake that serves around 150 people so I bought it and now I have an appointment for 90 minutes of cake tasting deliciousness! yay! I already know what I want my cake to look like... like the picture you see right here... but flowers in my colors of course :) And in case you didn't know from the picture (which I expect you don't) those are sugar spun flowers and real leaves and vines. I think it's so beautiful and perfect... I can't wait to order it and get it delivered and then eat it at my wedding! Odds are there will be red velvet under all that frosting with cream cheese butter cream frosting on the outside... so it won't be white but ivory is my guess... Oh I'm so excited! Did I mention they do free delivery and setup? Oh and that their Yelp page only says great things and I've already talk to them on the phone and they sound like the nicest ...

I have been feeling very uncreative lately- I don't know what it is, but as evidenced by my blog title I'm kinda lame lately.  So I've been as good at blogging as I have been sticking to my diet. It's so hard to give up carbs. SO hard! So what I decided to do is not kill myself. I'm going to eat a few of Chad's fries when we go out to dinner. I'm going to get a donut at 10pm when I've had a crappy day and I'm not going to stress over it. 90% of diet is still pretty good when I use to just eat carbs and sugar. In wedding news everything is SLOWLY coming together. I have a reception venue, a florist, a photographer... and according to the knot I only have 116 more things to-do, ugh! (72 have been completed though) I can't wait till I have more done then to-do. Anyway, I have some time, 108 days to be exact... I've kinda found my dress. I have a friend that wants to make a dress so what we're going to do is combine my favorite elemen...

I feel like I'm in a weird limbo. I'm in this middle ground right now. I'm waiting to find out where Chad is going to school so I know if I need to find a new job and move. I'm not really single, but I'm not married. Because I'm engaged no one really seems to want to be my friend, but because I'm engaged I don't really feel like I much fit in at the single's ward anymore. This is a very weird time. I don't really know if I can explain it properly. Just like I'm stuck between two worlds... and that I can't plan my transition properly. In other news wedding planning is frustrating and it takes a lot out of me to keep my thoughts, opinions, sassy remarks and brattiness in check while talking to people about it. My diet is rough. I have sugar cravings like crazy. I lost 3 pounds Monday-Thursday but then Friday for dinner I fell off the wagon, hard and then I stayed off till Monday. It's a hard diet to follow when you're not at...

1. This blog might quickly turn very wedding and diet focused. For those of you opposed to that I say boo to you... this blog is about my life and that's what my life is right now. I don't think most of you will mind though because you're my good friends so you're interested in that right? Well be warned... those will start tomorrow and will most likely involve it would only happen to Michelle type stories so that's fun. But if you're not into it, I'll make the title clear so you can skip to all the other random stuff I'll post. 2. I am excited. I can't talk about much of it, but remember how much I say I hate my job? Well that might change, I am in the early steps of doing something about the hate. Yay me. Keep me and future in your thoughts/prayers. I just pray that I'll be happy with my job, that the right opportunities will present themselves and that if it's good for me and my future family (Chad) that it will work out. Please do the s...

I've been a bad blogger... but that's because my free time has been engaged  in other activities... Yeah that's right, did you see what I did there? I know you all know already, but I'm engaged!! Yay I'm so excited about it. I'm really so lucky. I never understood how two people met, liked each other, fell in love, wanted to get married and then got married. It was all confusing to me. I never thought the odds were stacked in my favor that it would happen for me.  I wish I could tell my single readers some magical formula so that they too would solve that problem, but all I can say is that it just was easier with Chad. Everything just came easier with him then the rest of my relationships would... does that make sense? Anyway, I'm now working on planning a wedding that will be on.... August 5th, 2011; sealing at 11:30am at the Los Angeles Temple with a dessert reception to follow at TBA in the evening... ahhh let the planning begin. Oh and since...

that whoever requested this cake is married... because that is just so very awesome. I'm glad they found each other.