Wednesday, August 15, 2007

foot stomping boogie!

So the other day i receive a text, "Hey I have some friends from LA coming up to go country dancing, wanna come?" I think sure why wouldn't I? (hindsight: Why wouldn't you? Maybe because you're awkward and uncoordinated, or maybe because you don't know how to country dance...)

So I find myself in my "cowboy" hat, cowboy used loosely because it's a hat that I bought at Target that is fake snake skin and distressed to look cool, and the most action it's ever seen is at the beach during my "I want to look like a surfer phase".

So I'm out there on the dance floor having a grand old time when I hear, "If you don't know the dance get off the floor." I thought about it and decided, she's not talking to me, I'm not in any one's way! Then the voice floated through the air again... This time I was positive it was directed towards my friends and I. It was so quiet and passive aggressive that it irked me.

I say kinda loud "we're just hear having fun." Next thing I know on the next shuffle to your left or whatever it was, I have cowboy boot on my foot. This passive aggressive line dancer decided that because I didn't know the dance, I deserved a broken foot.

Did I mention that there were casting agents for some weird country line-dancing reality show, and that's why this girl went crazy on my foot. I really was about to turn around and inform her that she wasn't good enough or pretty enough to be picked so she might as well give up, but I decided instead to walk off the floor.

That's passive aggressive, and all it got me was a walking boot and a set of crutches!

Teleporting would be the way to go

***This is not MY story, but one of my good friends, she has as many crazy things happen to her as I do!****

I have a friend, who for the sake of ease we will call Jane. Jane has recently taken a job that requires a bit of travel, and that is where the trouble begins!

One morning Jane woke up to a flat tire, usually not a big deal... however when you need to be at a job site over an hour away this is quite the inconvenience. She then ran into her house to get keys to another car. Her sister then generously loans Jane her car, and then Jane is back on the road.

Jane gets about 5 miles, and the car breaks down. As Jane is standing on the side of the road waiting for AAA to come and save her from her plight, a bee flies up Jane's skirt. The next moments of sheer terror bring not only a flailing Jane, but a bit of public indecency as well.


The icing on the cake? Jane got another flat tire less than a week later!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Maybe I should have mounted it...

I was taking one of my many daily trips to the bathroom/copier/printer/water cooler today and stopped dead in my tracks and became quite perplexed. Now this is a path I take regularly, it's quite simple really; turn right out of cube, right at corner go straight till door, usually I make this trip like a champion. This time however trouble, in the form of a chair, stopped me right in my tracks. Now usually a chair would be something that would stand in my way of water domination, but this was an unusual chair. On this chair was a sign that said "Do not move me, I belong here!" Well that's the trouble, I'm a sucker for following posted sign (a few like "do not enter" and "Danger" are signs I just don't ignore) so you could imagine my qualm with moving the chair to get through. After a moment or two's pause I decided the best plan, of course, would to be turn around and find a completely different path... after I did this as an after thought perhaps that isn't the smart plan... it's a chair for goodness sake... it's really quite a shame that's always the afterthought.

Why this was started

Do you ever have moments in your life when you think, "Am I trapped in some weird hidden camera show"? If you have, than you've had a glance into my life for a moment. I was cruelly "blessed" with long gangly body pants and a lack of grace that usually ends up in a very humorous moment for all involved. And if that were not enough, I'm awkward, hence hilarity ensues...

Sometimes I will be updating moments in friend's lives as well that "you just can't make this up". Stay tuned for giggles!

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