Tuesday, November 1, 2011

To err is human, to forgive divine

Hello friends,

Something has been weighing on my mind quite a bit and I thought maybe just writing it out would help. Since this is a personal thought, it’s on my blog, not the one Chad and I have.

 I am going to start out this post by saying that any rude comments will be deleted.

I write this here because I need advice, if you have any. I am not writing this to get others involved and wish no ill will to the offenders, but I’ve been upset for too long and I carry it around too much and it consumes me. I don’t want it to consume me anymore, but I don’t know how to stop it.

I am having a hard time forgiving two people in my life right now and I don’t know how to get over the hump. Because I don’t want to offend or drag anyone into my bias you’re only going to get basic fact:

Friend 1- said something very hurtful to me, which really struck a cord because it was hypocritical and cutting. There was very little base to it besides the gossip of others. It has made me not want to be a friend to that person anymore, but we have a long history of friendship and I don’t want to throw it all away, but it seems like it’s been far too long now to bring it up and that it hurt my feelings. But how do I forgive and forget? Is it worth it? Should I bother trying to preserve a “friendship” where I now believe that this person can’t possibly know me very well at all if they truly believe what they said to me?

Friend 2- did something that hurt me greatly. What they did has tarnished a very happy memory for me. I know for a fact they knew that what they were doing was going to be hurtful to me because they tried to keep me from finding out about it as long as possible. They also didn’t actually tell me, they let me find out through the grapevine. It’s not anything they can fix, nor did they try/consider to when other implied it might be upsetting to me.

How do I do it? How do I forgive? I don’t want to still be upset, I don’t want to immediately think about how they have hurt me every time I think of them, and I don’t want to have this angry wall up, but I’m at a impasse. I am no good at confrontation, and honestly I think in both cases it would do more harm then good.

I usually am quite good at forgiving and I don’t typically carry a grudge, so I guess I’ve never needed to really develop the talent of forgiveness very much so now it feels like it’s an impossible feat. Blah… any words of wisdom/ advice?