Skip to main content

I have no internal monologue

Image
By
Well, the thing is I do... but my friend once told me that I need a better filter. I decided that would be something I would like to work on, so I did. Now for the most part I think it's a good thing I did work on this. For example, a few months ago I was on an elevator with some orange stripes, for those of you who don't speak Disney, that means Director or above. So these are the people that can very easily fire me and who I need to suck up to at all costs. One of them said something and I wanted to say "that's what she said" so very badly, but lucky for me my filter said, "NOT a good idea Michelle". But there are other times in my life where I wish I could say exactly what I'm thinking, things like
  • You look so silly right now, some trends aren't meant for you
  • Why do you have to be gay?
  • It's been a year since YOU ended it- instead of getting mad, fight for me- you'll probably win
  • Why don't you just kiss me?
  • stop complaining... no one cares anymore
  • Why do you have it out for me?
  • Just enjoy it, it's not going to last
  • Seriously, you're not happy are you?
The thing is though, you can't say stuff like that and be a good member of society... but really why is that? Why is lying and burrying it deep inside you and not telling the truth the way we should function? I can think of so many aspects of my life where being honest would save a lot of people a lot of trouble... dating is a huge one that comes to mind.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rules of Dieting

By
Hi my name is Michelle and I have a very unhealthy relationship with food and dieting and the small amount of fat that resides on my mid section. There is something empowering and depressing about this all at once. It's empowering because I recognize it and I can sometimes remember it and control my brain, but it's depressing because I'm sure it's something that will only be fixed by therapy and time and I don't want to put in the work. Also, as a MO it's really one of the few vices I get... and really there are worse vices. As some of you know I was in the running to be on a infomercial. With it came food delivered to my door (no eating out of the box!) and 6 day a week, butt kicking bootcamp classes. The food was pretty yummy (although left me very hungry) and I really enjoyed the bootcamp after the first week of being so sore I could barely move. But then things started going wrong. First, it was HARD to stay on track when people around me were e...
4 comments
Dig Deeper

That amazing thing I alluded to...

By
So the other week on Facebook I alluded to being a small part in a very wonderful thing. Now that I've taken some time to mull over it I think I can share a bit of my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, I get really down on the world. I think people are just selfish, unfeeling and cold. That no one cares much about anyone outside of their immediate small circle. I feel like I see it daily in the news, on Facebook and all around me. It breaks my heart. The other day I was reminded that I was wrong. Thank goodness. To be honest (which if I can't be honest on my blog where the heck can I be) I have been incredibly depressed these last few months we've been in China. I'm lonely, (love ya Chad, but I'm an extrovert) I've been sick almost constantly and I just want to leave. I have been thinking about how the $760 plane change ticket might be worth it. A year is a long time to spend in a random Chinese town. Anyway, right at the depths of the depression someone name...
2 comments
Dig Deeper

The past little while...

By
So I'm pretty sure no one reads this, which is why I never bother to update, but since I was browsing my friend's blogs tonight I decided to read mine and realized it was incredibly whinny so I should probably update. I came to a sad realization the other night, and it was how much I love my dog. I mean I knew I loved him, but I have found it's very apparent to everyone else how much I love him too, it hit home when I had a friend say, "oh even though we've never met him we KNOW Batman!" It's a sad day to realize that you talk about your dog more than some people talk about their kids. Anyway, so what's been new can be explained very quickly: Even though I work at one of the biggest corporations in America I feel like I'm caught on an episode of Melrose Place EFY!!! I work 6am- 3pm Tues. through Sat. so my social life is pretty shot Insane things keep happening to me- things such as my car being broken into and the only thing of "...
2 comments
Dig Deeper