Hey Mormon friends (and those friends who want to raise their daughters with a more rigid moral code),
You should read this.... " Why Standards Night is Substandard". I agree with the author... I think that the young women of the Church are sometimes given the short end of a stick and aren't communicated to properly.
Some of my favorite excepts include:
"A question welled in my throat, one that my neighbor might balk at. I asked it anyway. "Would you say Amy has power in her life?"
She looked uneasy, and I didn't blame her. Power is not a commodity we associate with Mormon girls and women. To our ears the very concept of power sounds worldly and corrupt, unless we're talking about priesthood power, which we qualify as exclusively masculine. But I wasn't talking about priesthood power, and I wasn't talking about the steel-fisted power of a political dictator or corporate mogul, either.
I tried to explain. "What I mean is, does Amy sense that she's in control of her own life? That she has the right and the ability and the opportunity to get what she wants and what she needs?"
"The balance sheet continued to change for me and my girlfriends as we emerged from childhood into womanhood. Our increasingly voluptuous bodies were reliable tools of status and control. The power was heady, but confusing, because wielding it always left us feeling empty and weak. And it was treacherous, because its force attracted not only the male peers we were aiming for, but also troubled stepfathers and leering strangers. But by the time we realized the perils, we'd grown dependent on this means of power. Of course it didn't yield true power, because it didn't originate within ourselves: it originated within the perceptions of the boys and men we hoped to entice. Yet in our economy of success, sexual attraction was the only currency we thought we held. And counterfeit money was better than nothing."
It's a great article. And my personal experience is this: I was awkward and a late bloomer in high school. NO guy liked me... I didn't have to worry about sexual purity, because no one wanted anything from me. I got attention in school by being smart, and that taught me a lesson about myself. Then I went to college and that changed and I learned all about the womanly wiles of power over men. Then I had to get into the tricky area of sexual purity... but because this power didn't come until a sense of self-esteem and maturity developed and I had a sense of self- driven power. That's what saved me from Amy's fate... I'm sure of it.
Some of this is what I always tried to teach my girls at EFY when I was a counselor. That you don't need a man to prove you're strong and powerful... that YOU are a strong powerful person because of who you are.
So insightful...
Seriously- Ladies, Moms, Dads, everyone... read it.
You should read this.... " Why Standards Night is Substandard". I agree with the author... I think that the young women of the Church are sometimes given the short end of a stick and aren't communicated to properly.
Some of my favorite excepts include:
"A question welled in my throat, one that my neighbor might balk at. I asked it anyway. "Would you say Amy has power in her life?"
She looked uneasy, and I didn't blame her. Power is not a commodity we associate with Mormon girls and women. To our ears the very concept of power sounds worldly and corrupt, unless we're talking about priesthood power, which we qualify as exclusively masculine. But I wasn't talking about priesthood power, and I wasn't talking about the steel-fisted power of a political dictator or corporate mogul, either.
I tried to explain. "What I mean is, does Amy sense that she's in control of her own life? That she has the right and the ability and the opportunity to get what she wants and what she needs?"
"The balance sheet continued to change for me and my girlfriends as we emerged from childhood into womanhood. Our increasingly voluptuous bodies were reliable tools of status and control. The power was heady, but confusing, because wielding it always left us feeling empty and weak. And it was treacherous, because its force attracted not only the male peers we were aiming for, but also troubled stepfathers and leering strangers. But by the time we realized the perils, we'd grown dependent on this means of power. Of course it didn't yield true power, because it didn't originate within ourselves: it originated within the perceptions of the boys and men we hoped to entice. Yet in our economy of success, sexual attraction was the only currency we thought we held. And counterfeit money was better than nothing."
It's a great article. And my personal experience is this: I was awkward and a late bloomer in high school. NO guy liked me... I didn't have to worry about sexual purity, because no one wanted anything from me. I got attention in school by being smart, and that taught me a lesson about myself. Then I went to college and that changed and I learned all about the womanly wiles of power over men. Then I had to get into the tricky area of sexual purity... but because this power didn't come until a sense of self-esteem and maturity developed and I had a sense of self- driven power. That's what saved me from Amy's fate... I'm sure of it.
Some of this is what I always tried to teach my girls at EFY when I was a counselor. That you don't need a man to prove you're strong and powerful... that YOU are a strong powerful person because of who you are.
So insightful...
Seriously- Ladies, Moms, Dads, everyone... read it.
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